Sex is FREE!

I enjoyed a great weekend at Floating World 09, met interesting people and continued to observe life on the fringe. Coming back, I thought I would write about all the fun I had there and some really awesome developments in my life but this whole big article will be about a tiny sliver.

I have been watching a bit of Rock of Love, Daisy of Love and Charm School recently. I want to understand the under culture of decorative people (espescially women) and try to figure out their appeal to men. As I watch the antics, cat fights, terrible language and general lack of class… I don’t see it.

We don’t have this culture here in Canada. Sure Montreal has it’s slew of prostitutes, strippers and porn stars but it’s easy to understand who they are and what they accomplish for a living. In the U.S. it’s different. Tila Tequila proved that one can become a celebrity without doing much more than being decorative and milking it for all it’s worth. In Tila’s case, her claim to fame was having the most friends on MySpace. But she wasn’t the first girl famous for being famous, just the first to emerge from Web 2.0 which makes it easy for girls who do not have the technical Savvy of a Cindy Margolis or Danni Ashe to post pictures of themselves and quickly garner thousands of pervy fans. Long before the Internet, there was Carmen Electra, Tawny Kitaen, Apollonia Kotero and others who basically stuck around forever after being in one movie or music video. Through the rise and fall of Anna Nicole Smith, I have watched various media outfits like Entertainment Tonight and E! take advantage of her ‘sex’-appeal for ratings. Throughout and right up until her death, ANS seemed oblivious to the fact that her life was a modern-day freak show.

Nevertheless, there seems to be hundreds of self-made Myspace models who are breaking out as semi-professionals by appearing on a variety of reality shows turning their Online popularity into fancy confined living, free drinks and a chance to open-mouth kiss an ugly Rock Star on national television (ewww!.) I am trying really hard to think of someone who might have broken through the stampede of heavily tattooed and wigged chicks in stripper heels to emerge as an inspiration for the rest of us. I give up…

Of all the decorative people in Hollywood, Megan Hauserman is probably one of the most active models appearing on countless reality shows. I have always liked Megan since I first saw her on one of my favorite shows Beauty and The Geek (which she won) a few years back. However, Megan seems to have acquired a few monkeys on her back and made some questionable business decisions. When watching the preview first episode of Megan Wants a Millionaire six weeks ago, it became obvious to me that VH1 is punking Megan by introducing her to 14 rather unattractive men who just happen to be millionaires. It would have been great to see if, despite this, Megan would find a gem. However, the one contestant who was somewhat palatable was recently found dead following an apparent suicide after being chased down by the police and accused of killing his quickie Vegas bride and stuffing her dismantled body in a suitcase. This unfortunate turn of events has forced VH1 to cancel Megan Wants a Millionaire… not that I would have watched the train wreck anyway.

So it goes without saying that I have always wondered about the secret life of decorative women who live in dramarama, err… Hollywood and get invited to every party at the Playboy mansion.

I had the pleasure of meeting such a person recently. After admitting that she had read everything I had ever written (elsewhere and under a different pseudonym LOL) and was intimidated at the thought of meeting me, she proceeded to tell me about herself so I would agree to let her spend time with MY man. This is rather amusing. Of course I did not object… Unless she was carrying a concealed weapon or was completely crazy.

So let’s call her Paisley for simplicity’s sake. She is quite nice and interesting and I took an immediate liking to her. However she also said her IQ was 183! When we spent time together I was more concerned with listening to her than making fun of her for being quite exceptional considering an IQ is usually measured on a scale capping at 165. Having M0j0D4ddy otherwise occupied with a girl allowed me to have important conversations with very important people and sleep at night!

While I am pretty sure Paisley really is a quasi-famous pole dancer, she also said she was an experienced model and would be in a few publications I am familiar with including Forbes.

For various reasons if Forbes actually puts her and other “women in the business” in a pictorial in their magazine it will change everything (I have already publicly riled against CNN, Time Magazine and Forbes for dousing their Web media counterpart with sex in order to get more eyes on their content.) But I am dubious as to the stories of this professionally decorative woman because she also said she would be in/on Perfect 10 and I was sure they were all about women who did not have implants!? But in all it was super interesting to spend time with her.

But then I started thinking…

Pretty women are rarely contradicted therefore they develop and very high opinion of their own intellect and personality. I also have this theory that being singled out as beautiful from early on in life will influence someone to put too much importance on outward appearance over intelligence or learned abilities. While I personally cannot help but be in awe of someone male or female who is naturally beautiful without any artifice, beauty in itself is no accomplishment to be proud of. However, it is the most important quality in U.S. culture. Beauty is also the last bastion of sexism. In media and entertainment, men are chosen based on competence and women often need to be both competent and beautiful to stand out. And if competence is not that important, as is the case for much of TV talking heads, beauty must win over brains as so many anchorwomen have that deer caught in the headlights look permanently plastered on their face.

My uncle, who is close to 80, lives in Florida and spends six weeks a year in Canada remarked on the difference in the quality of news anchors in Canada VS the U.S. this weekend. This also prompted a discussion on the importance of beauty over competence and the confusion between fame and infamy in the U.S. where someone can attain great fame simply by being controversial and stupid…

So back to my recent encounter with Paisley… Being set aside after a 48 hour fling, she has developed an interesting case of desperation and is coming off as the complete opposite of who she said she is. She is a ticking bomb… though going off would not serve her very well. I have watched as she has fallen madly in love with MY man and is trying desperately to worm her way into his life. For months I have been telling M0j0D4ddy that he is not very good at protecting his time which, coupled with his ability to get distracted by shiny things, will forever leave him without any feelings of accomplishing concrete things. Of course that is only a small glimpse into a bigger picture but this is a beautiful opportunity to watch him try to manage this woman in a way that is appropriate to the situation. Unfortunately, this is a reactive situation, yet again and very few good things come out of reactive situations. I much rather plan ahead… After all M0j0D4ddy’s life is a story I’ve already written.

In this case I correctly guessed that any new conquest who met me and got my approval would like me and then when things didn’t match her fantasy anymore, she would look to me for support, cliff notes, F.A.Q., etc. As she calls me to get support, I try to be a realist and tell it to her like it is. I sincerely would like us to be friends in the long run. Time will tell if she uses this information to walk away gracefully or create more drama and continue to act the opposite of how she said she would manage the situation. But throughout the week I have seen her use a few manipulative techniques that I do not approve of. Perhaps I will write about those eventually.

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