Relationship 2.0
What is a relationship?
Well in medieval times it seems that a woman would find herself in a ‘relationship’ once she was abducted by a pillaging knight… I’m not going to list all the ways in which people have been thrust together in matrimony over the years but simply fast forward to the 20th century where men and women choose each other and either marry or simply cut the red tape and shack up. but even within this freedom to choose a mate I still feel like there is a huge bag of expectations from society about what a relationship should be.
I got married once because… well… because I felt that this is what was expected of me in order to be an adult. Then I quickly ran away from my extremely possessive, jealous and increasingly aggressive husband. I then made the mistake of getting together with #2 less than a week later. Though we were together 7+ years we broke up when he became, you guessed it, possessive, jealous and increasingly aggressive! Then I thought: “Holy Fuck! There’s something wrong with ME!” I then decided not to be in another relationship until I figured out what in me made my man possessive and jealous like that.
However, I immediately fell for my beloved BeardedDicaprio and we will soon be celebrating 5 years of happy non-relationship 
I just love my non-relationship with him. I have never met his parents or his family. They don’t even know I exist. I mean if they did then they would definitely have expectations and that would give both of us ulcers because we would have to TELL them about our non-relationship status. It is a wonderful feeling to be on the same page with a guy and be able to communicate about our romantic situation without feeling all weird. I have always looked forward to the day when I can go to his wedding and simply be the miscellaneous friend. I would certainly attend with the only person we know in common. She is a trans woman who worked with him before she transitioned and whom I have only known as a woman.
So since then I have said fuck you to the man and I am having my relationships however which way I want them.
My lover, Mr. P. and I have a lot of fun talking about our relationship. He is incredibly straight forward and not at all diplomatic when talking about this sort of thing. I appreciate honesty and straight-forwardness. However, he gets a lot of crap from women because he also thinks outside the box when it comes to relationships. He is mostly monogamous but he HATES being horded by a woman. But I do not hoarde him. So that is why I have asked him to be my husband only on Tuesdays or Thursdays. And to my surprise today he admitted that he was having fun telling his girlfriends that I had asked that of him. But we are not on the same page for he, being the dominant man that he is, wished that it was a floating day that he could choose. So this is where we are at.
It is worth mentioning that Mr. P. is a 46 year-old libertarian and that he is incredibly intelligent and he has his own ideas about marriage and how it should be. I think that we should all be free to define our own relationships so I welcome his ideas. He has told me that marriage should be a timed contract with an expiration date. This makes sense since marriages seem to already have expiration dates anyway and the fact that they are life contracts is simply making lawyers richer. If I had a timed marriage and my husband was wishy-washy about renewing when the time came around then I would know our time is up and plan to move on.
When people around me and my ex would bring up marriage around me and my ex I simply would skirt the issue and say: “I’m still married to the old one!” within earshot of EVERYONE. This prevented the new one from popping the question. I still had his baby and bought a house with him and those two contracts considered both of us as equal people.
Traditional marriage does not treat men and women as equal.
I am planning my union with M0j0D4ddy and I would like to tell everybody around me about it but I can’t because we are not getting married, we are defining our relationship 2.0… and that’s kind of hard to sell to people who didn’t even know you could invent a new relationship to call you own.
But it’s still fuckin’ fantastic!!!
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