Courtney Stodden: I have a theory and I really hope it is true

December 30th, 2011 Eva Vavoom Posted in Body Image, Chicks, Entertainment, Growing Up, Humour No Comments »

Courtney Stodden is a teenage dominatrix who is currently punking the world with her bimbo experiment. For months when I saw Courtney and Doug on The Ridiculist I usually felt that she would probably wake up at 24 and be completely embarrassed by the past 8 years (as young adults often do…) But now I have changed my theory and it makes much more sense to me; or at least it gives more hope for humanity.

When I was Courtney’s age I fantasized that I was exactly the same person I have become today. In my fantasies I had 100% control over my life, did many spur of the moment projects, was in a plural marriage with 3 awesome men who got along great and dated a lot of really creative people. This is what I fantasized about constantly from about 12 until my early 20′s when I was able to do concrete things to realize my fantasies. It is therefore entirely believable to me that Courtney’s current phase could be a ploy to realize a very specific socio-sexual fantasy.

So far she has put on an award-worthy bimbo show, lured in a z-list celebrity husband who lives to clean up after her, shopped a lucrative reality tv show and has Dr. Drew on speed dial. Dr. Drew’s secret theory seems to be that Courtney will wind up on his ‘Celebrity Rehab’ program before she is even 21 but I am holding out for my own prize.

My theory is that after only a few years of punking the media with her bimbo experiment, creepy wedding and subsequent shower of inappropriate Facebook pictures, Courtney will tell us it was all a joke/performance to distract us and come out with a tell all book about the vapid creepy Hollywood bubble she now inhabits.

‘Cuz that would be funny and I would say ‘Bravo!’ and buy that book…

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Entertainment in the Media now Refers Exclusively to the Private Parts or Sex Lives of Celebrities

March 13th, 2010 Eva Vavoom Posted in Entertainment, Sexuality, Unexpected Sex No Comments »

And to illustrate my point, I will simply share with you a screen cap of an Entertainment page on The Huffington Post.

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Presenting Tas, a talented cake baker from Montreal (NSFW)

December 16th, 2009 Eva Vavoom Posted in BDSM, Dating, Entertainment, Fetish, Growing Up, Humour, Parties, Sexuality, Television, Uncategorized, Unexpected Sex No Comments »

Little did I know that when attending an evening of travel presentation at the local Yacht Club with Mr. P., I would meet Tas, a talented baker of perverted cakes. Tas, whose background is computer science and math, is even looking for ways to incorporate advanced features (animated parts) into his creations. Read the rest of this entry »

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Porn Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time…

May 13th, 2009 Eva Vavoom Posted in Body Image, Dudes, Entertainment, Growing Up, Movies, Sexuality, Television 3 Comments »

Do you remember when porn had merit as an art form? When performers seemed sincere and situations, while a bit contrived, were fun and realistic. Do you remember when porn actors looked like you and me? When male actors were filmed above the waist? When performers were rather nice to each other and were not expected to perform a series of parlor tricks, most of which are unpleasant and unsafe? Probably not because that was a LONG time ago!

I started watching ‘porn’ on television in the late seventies. I wasn’t even a teenager back then but I began seeking out and watching ‘adult’ entertainment. I don’t mean porn per say just things that were made for a more mature crowd. It was kind of hard to find but I persisted. I remember when Playboy TV came on and, low and behold, guests were allowed to use the Fword in interviews on the station’s ‘Late Night’ show. I remember one of the guest in the late eighties, he used to pick up chicks off the street and film himself or another actor having sex in a very amateurish way. His name was Buttman a.k.a. John Stagliano. He gave us Gonzo, imported Rocco Siffredi and, unfortunately, a market for copycat Max Hardcore.

Sometimes my encyclopedic knowledge of porn kind of spills out in vanilla settings and causes a bit of an uncomfortable moment. The first time I saw Rocco Siffredi on screen, in Night Trip II (1990), I thought he was so hot that I mentioned it to my girlfriends at school the next day. My college girlfriends knew I was a bit ‘different’ because I submitted anonymous ‘confessions’ to our college papers and eventually came out to them… But they were not fans of porn.

While I started watching erotica at a very young age, I am glad that sex was not yet packaged as a product. A product so different from reality that it would have prevented or ruined my enjoyment of it. Sex in older films looked more sincere, more real. It was attainable! Sex in old porn looks like my own sex life! Yes, even the freaky threesome parts! Sex in current porn I could have but why?! And I am perfectly comfortable with explaining to a partner why I don’t care to have ‘porno’ sex.

I don’t think porn is demeaning to women in general. The oversexualization of everything else might be. But porn is porn and the performers are paid to act out unrealistic sexual encounters which are supposed to be male sexual fantasies. Based on my research they are more based on a system of one-upmanship than actual fantasies of your average guy. Porn is one of many industries where profit is king and people are used, abused and thrown away quickly. There are a few male porn stars who appear to be skilled sexual tops (one of which is Mark Ashley) but all in all men in porn seem to have sex AT a woman rather than with her. These nuances are not obvious to teenagers who start watching hardcore porn at a very early age today. I think that watching porn hurts a man’s enjoyment of sex, lowers his self-esteem and provides little usable skill. But, having had a few partners who have grown up with access to Internet porn in their teenage years, I cannot say that I have noticed ‘porn damage’ anymore in men in their 20s over men in their 30s through 50s. Porn hurts women by making men annoyingly insecure. It takes away their ability to enjoy regular women over twenty. Of all my male friends and lovers, those who do not watch porn much or at all report having and enjoying a normal sex life. They are generally more happy people.

However I do not think the male landscape has changed that much. I’ve always thought that only one guy in 20 is worth fucking so rather than fuck the next 100, I have decided to develop skills to spot a keeper and then… well keep him, at least for a while.

But back to the fake sex…

There are a few people in porn that I admire. They are the ones who take it up a notch or have a real insight into their work in the grander scale of things and are truly enjoyable to listen to and watch.

In 1982, Annie Sprinkle, already a frequent performer in x-rated loops, directed her first full-length movie. When I saw this recently I thought it was adorable and I have included the first few minutes of it. Dr. Annie Sprinkle has explored human sexuality for 30 years and is still active as a lifestyle educator today.

[...video removed...]

Why am I revisiting vintage erotica? Well, I have have been thinking of putting my observations of alternate human sexuality over the past 30 years on paper and… well in the meantime a sweet bit of iconic 70s erotica is trying to resurface. We are talking here about the most recognized franchise in erotica for the past 35 years… I don’t know if it is faith but it’s on my desk and I feel what Tom Cruise must have felt when he snagged Mission Impossible… Now I just need to write down my ideas and find me a Paula Wagner!!!

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Three Weeks Later

February 19th, 2009 Eva Vavoom Posted in Dating, Entertainment, Workshops No Comments »

I’m old now, I should be more aware of how I deal with stuff. I noticed that when something bad happens, I am always the one that manages everyone until they feel better. And then it’s my turn to sit down and cry. But by then everyone else has moved on and I feel all alone. And it’s been like this for a few days now.

I am a very strict manager of drama and I never want to involve anyone else into it espescially if it CAN be contained and managed discreetly. And I am very proud to have been on top of all this drama for the past three weeks in a way that should prevent any more drama from popping up out of left field.

But I need a hug. SO I’ve scheduled myself ten, just to make sure it sticks.

All that being said, I am so looking forward to my upcoming event because it is coming together so well and it is very fun to have so many people write to me to tell me how much they are looking forward to meet M0j0D4ddy or see him again. I have people signing up AGAIN for the same classes they took 2 years ago! However since he is a constant student of martial arts his classes evolve with the latest techniques and all his students should continue to learn new skills every time around.

On Saturday I am going to see HeShe Kisses with Dukes of Drag at Sala Rossa (4848 St-Laurent) It’s the show of the year and they always make me laugh until I cry! I really want to go with LadyC. I mean I’ve been ‘dating’ her man and we haven’t even gone out together yet! Let’s make it fair!!

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Je t’aime en PCV!

January 15th, 2009 Eva Vavoom Posted in Entertainment, Fetish, Humour No Comments »

Just a little something to stick to your brain matter for the dayweek!

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

On Intellecutal Orgasms

October 15th, 2008 Eva Vavoom Posted in BDSM, Chicks, Entertainment, Humour, Mad Skillz, Online life, Politics, Television No Comments »

Oh Stephen you made me blush with your show on Monday night… many times. And now that I have a laptop in my comfy bed, I can write down what I think without freezing my ass on a plastic chair. Which explains my recent long posts.

Do you know what Stephen Colbert does? He interviews serious guests in his blowhard conservative pundit character. He also talks directly to his viewer which can sometimes be freaky. On my birthday Stephen said that if I was a 35 y.o. woman today, my chances of finding a man were nonexistent… Hmmm, that was a really strange coincidence.

By now his guests know what he is going to do to them. There is one video of Stephen out there showing him interacting with John Kerry pre-interview however, it has never been clear how his guests are prepared.

Both Stewart and Colbert have high quality guests on. Many are unassuming and geeky authors who probably don’t have to put up with such a character on a regular basis. What I have figured out is that he will ask one question to let his guest “plug the product” but after that the gloves come off and the rest is an unexpected avalanche of rhetoric and twisted logic. His guest are left to fend for themselves. Some give him all the room and some manage to get a word in edgewise. They are unlikely to shut him up but it has happened.

I am most entertained when Stephen has women guests on. On Monday he had TWO female guests: Kathleen Parker, a syndicated columnist and Bethany McLean, author of “The Smartest Guys in the Room”.

McLean was absolutely delightful as she brought really serious issues to the table. She managed to get a lot of good points out even though Stephen was like a pittbull with her! I have absolutely no idea what went through her mind but I had the feeling I could see her heart miss a beat a few times… By the end she seemed upset in a “what the fuck just happened?” kind of way and as the camera went wide and faded Stephen seemed to notice and immediately grabbed her hand to do the aftercare!

Parker, who was the featured guest, seemed to enjoy her “conversation” with Stephen… and by that I mean “really enjoy it” the way I would… This episode is available online (Oct. 13, 2008) and I don’t want to read too much into the body language of people who will Google themselves to find that I have put their serious interview into a kinky context. Some people are quite masterful at putting serious politics into a kinky context (Dana Gould, 8mins+)

I can tell you what Stephen Colbert does to me though! One cannot expect what Stephen is going to say next and that is really exciting. He will bring something to the table and commit to it in a powerful way. He can completely overpower a conversation with gems of irony that make heads of state explode (pun intended.) Stephen has a huge set of brass balls and he is very proud of them. When Stephen speaks I cannot help but listen to everything he says and then try to dissect the layers of comedy and irony that he and his writers pack-in so tightly. Stephen has the best writers (with Emmy and Peabody to support that) but he must be praised highly for his delivery.

I am guilty of trying to drive conversations like Stephen and when my friends bite, it’s all sorts of fun… but I want to be on the receiving end of that conversation!

Something really awesome happened to me a few weeks ago and I am still giddy about it. Mr. M. and I were chatting through Skype and for some reason my mute button became activated. While I could hear him, he could not hear me but I assume he could see me. So as I was looking for which of the 3 ways the mute could be on he proceeded to verbally assault me for a few minutes. I was really impressed with how he berated me (incessantly and in a funny way.) I guess I could have been upset but instead, it tickled me in a very naughty way. He was essentially giving me a verbal spanking making it impossible to find what I was looking for. He made me giggly, shocked and excited but could not hear the results of his effect on me as my mute button was still on. I truly hope he saw me laughing and withering!

I have gotten into trouble with Mr. M. for assuming that what he does is deliberate and planned… Does he improvise or is he premeditated? I wonder this because I know I can be very premeditated as I spend a lot of time thinking about how I can steer conversations toward absurd comedy or make someone laugh. There is an enormous amount of intent in me and I am becoming more comfortable telling the world that I am not the wallflower I sometimes pretend to be.

I am not evil but I wish I was and I was able to play that character officially in a gamers magazine interview a few months ago. This interview was unanimously defined as hilarious. Moreover, the reaction male readers had was exactly on mark, they were shocked and scared of me, the evil dominatrix bent on taking over the world! I can’t ask for anything more!!!

Mr. M. can be Machiavellian in the way he puts forward his ideas and perhaps does not realize the exciting and awesome evil villain he brings to the table. This is but one of his Mad Skillz. He is a Valmont, but unlike the cruel ways in which the Vicomte has been portrayed (and I have avidly eaten all iterations), Mr. M. seemed to come along with a promise to reveal the humanity behind the man who corrupted Cecile and destroyed Madame de Tourvel. Are you seeing a theme here? What is improvised and what is premediated? Is it “I couldn’t help myslef” or “I actually meant to do that”? I know he is not evil but he is so good at the craft as he commits to it in very powerful way. While I admit that I did get drunk on this experience I retained a lot of my petulant self. Perhaps I hoped that Mr. M. would be a formidable opponent. I saw him as superior to me! In many ways, he was going to be the most fun and challenging person to lose to. At least I hoped he would win. However, when I clearly needed to be put in my place, he chose not to… so as not to be hurtful…

There is a duality in that… While being called on what I did or said could be construed as a bad experience, for me it is an enlightening experience. It is not just about being disciplined for doing something wrong but it’s also about realizing the exact consequences of my actions by hearing it from him, learning from that and hopefully reveling in how masterfully the lecture or correction is delivered. Sure the correction could be delivered constructively but also with a wide variety of emotions like anger, disdain, coldness, etc. but it is what it is and unfortunately it is not something I get to experience in play and too rarely in life.

Almost ten years ago I began a working relationship with a man who was loud, grumpy and impulsive. He even had a reputation for making people cry but I later learned that those people were easy cryers. He had one quality that I had never encountered in someone else: he could have a shouting match with me and never step out of line or bring the conversation down with irrelevant stuff. At first it was surprising! I don’t yell but I won my points enough times that he eventually handed over the keys to the castle. So I won… or did I? Because dealing with him so intensely on a daily basis made me feel really happy, excited and alive. It was awesome fuel. Today, we are attached to each other in blissful way… His love, acceptance and encouragement has effectively fueled my ability to deal with really hard situations and challenges. We don’t fight anymore. We seems to agree on everything. We seem to understand and trust each other fully.

I can honestly say that it is where I had wished to go with Mr. M. so I gave him the opportunity to define a place for me that I agreed with (check!) and then put me into it officially an masterfully. I know it’s a huge expectation. I am a dominant person (a survivalist) which seems at odds with the developing dynamics between Mr. M. and I but the “negotiation” process I am referring to is just that… a back and forth planning process that can come across as un-romantic. For me, it’s really exciting, because I like procedures. Also, it is what I learned from my Lady and from Midori over the years. It is the only way that I know to get to SSC or RACK. However, it comes from a very clinical BDSM framework and it killed the magical meeting of the minds that originally happened between us.

Sigh…

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Porno Review: The Tudors

June 1st, 2008 Eva Vavoom Posted in Dudes, Entertainment, Fashion, Fetish, Humour, Television No Comments »

The Tudors is a costume and protocol fetish series. It is in its second season. I watched the first two episodes last night. Actually it’s a historical drama but for someone like me who measures everything in life by it’s relationship to the underworld of kink, it’s quite an intellectual and visual ride.

I must admit I know little of the storyline as I concentrated my studies on the colonization of New France in the 17th and 18th century when I worked in a religious museum.

This series is supposed to introduce me to a bit of (dramatized) history but I am distracted by the sheer hotness of the actors. The plots deliver sex, attitude, pageantry and plenty of incredibly hot pissed off guys over 30. Too bad Steven Waddington (Duke of Buckingham) gets his head chopped off so early in the story. Sigh!

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

Brilliant Photographer Meets Talented Teen Star Meets Dumb Media

May 21st, 2008 Eva Vavoom Posted in Body Image, Chicks, Entertainment, Fashion, Mad Skillz, Photography No Comments »

My daughter loves Hannah Montana and for once I agree with a 7 year old’s choice of music idol. Miley Cyrus is undeniably talented and as long as she continues releasing the kind of music she introduced us to on her “Introducing Miley Cyrus” album she will do well.

What really annoys me though is that the media is so tired of Lindsay, Britney and Paris that they are trying to make every little thing Miley does out to be slutty, whorish and bad.

Adults use younger and younger kids every year in order to make money and I find this page unacceptable (Best Week Ever My Lil’ Miley Facebook Application.)

When Annie Leibovitz took a picture of Sting muddy and naked on a dry lake I was all like “wow!” Did the media make a fuss about it, start writing articles about his privates or making comments about every detail of his body? No.

When Annie Leibovitz took a picture of Whoopi Goldberg in a bathub full of milk, did anybody make a fuss? No.

Then Annie Leibovitz took a picture of Miley Cyrus in a bed sheet. People started crying wolf, making a huge fuss enough to prompt Cyrus to tell the world she was “embarrassed”. This whole fiasco is mostly embarrassing to Annie Leibovitz who delivered a bland, very boring portrait of Cyrus proving that she consulted with Cyrus and her entourage during the shoot. It was not at all inappropriate or shocking! In 10 years, this portrait will have historical significance but for now it is just a boring portrait of a 15 year old girl in a bed sheet.

Annie Leibovitz is one of the most innovative and talented photographers of our era yet most people in America don’t know or understand her work.

Sometimes it seems that people in the media are just too young or ignorant to analyze a situation within it’s real context considering history in the process. They just yap like little dogs at everything that walks by hoping to stir controversy and fill airtime.

AddThis Social Bookmark Button

King Size Big Annual Headlining Show in February

January 22nd, 2008 Eva Vavoom Posted in Entertainment, Parties No Comments »

King Size is taking over Meow Mix again with a kick-ass show in a few weeks! Here’s the announce:

King blings, fag hags, and dyke tykes alike you will be pleased to learn that King Size will once again be featured during February’s Meow Mix!!! As it’s the season of LOVE, our all-new show is called Self Love! Witness the unveiling of our handsome new kings, and other titilating surprises. Mark your calendars now…more info at a later date.

Self Love (Meow Mix)
Saturday, February 9th
Sala Rossa
4848 St. Laurent
Montreal
$10

AddThis Social Bookmark Button