Sex is FREE; but they get you on the accessories!!!

Little did I know that when attending an evening of travel presentation at the local Yacht Club with Mr. P., I would meet Tas, a talented baker of perverted cakes. Tas, whose background is computer science and math, is even looking for ways to incorporate advanced features (animated parts) into his creations. Read the rest of this entry »

It is interesting how in the context of getting to know him for the purpose of a romantic connection in the future, I set aside judgment on his issues. I understand that when people do not know each other very well, they can be guarded, defensive or on their best behavior.

However when he said “we were developing a neutral friendship…” Mr. M. did two things (unintentional as usual). He confirmed that he was ‘not that into me’ and he changed the lens with which I was looking at him. Both things are good. I had been looking for a ‘No’ from him so it was very liberating to read it… it could have been less vague and less wishy washy but nonetheless I will gladly take it and run.

The most surprising thing however was that when I started looking at him with ‘friend material’ scrutiny, I was immediately appalled at all that he is and everything he does. It was surprising, shocking and quite sobering. I explained this to Mr. M. and perhaps I sounded full of myself when I wrote that I have absolutely fantastic friends and the competition is stiff in that arena!  So maybe I was full of my wonderful supportive friends. Anyhow, it wasn’t poetic but I don’t expect a response from him…

He has gotten back together with his ‘newish girlfriend’ for the second or third time in the past few months. The best thing that can happen now is for that to work out well for them.

I shall go back to my old way of picking boyfriends, from the list of guys who are into me and seemingly compatible and work my way from there and now I feel even more confident in my recent decisions.

The Bodyguard returns from the Tundra in nine days. The Anchorman is in the middle of Nowhere, Ontario for the summer. The guy who is too young for me is strangely mature-acting and looking for 26. My Daddy is getting better and he can’t wait for us to resume having normal conversations (not that we ever talk about ‘normal’ things.) And last but not least, I am enjoying seeing the BeardedDiCaprio more than usual.

I started watching ‘Hung’ and it is somewhat interesting. Though it has prompted me to launch another crazy Craigslist social experiment. Yes, another complicated secret Craigslist social experiment.

I think Britney Spears met my M0j0D4ddy and wrote a song about him. But all things considered I have developed a comprehensive appreciation of him over the past 9 months. This weekend I woke up to the fact that I have developed really useful skills in relationship building and managing.

I mean I must not have been that bad at it before having juggled the 4 boyfriends BUT I think that having one relationship for the long term with a piece of work, no less, would be A LOT more complex.

I am kind of tortured right now. I am being deluged with flowers, adoration and praise by those who actually deserve my attention and yet, out of the blue, Mr. M. shows up to ask a whole bunch of questions about my current relationships and plans. He seems to love to prove me wrong so he has not disappeared at the first sign of conflict but hey, it’s barely been a week!

Of course I have current relationships and plans. Have I ever not had those!? He kind of waltzes in like he’s Caesar or somthin’ asking a whole bunch of personal questions (bringing us right back to square one of what we want/need from each otehr and life in general…)

I have current relationships and plans with guys who are not too impressed with how Mr. M. wooed me and sort of dumped me 10 months ago… look it up! I have an active love-life and while I look forward to focusing on a spouse in a monogamous relationship, I cannot easily be plucked from my life and conveniently divorced from it… Even by the Prissy Emperor.  At least now I much less inept, hapless and uncontrolled around him… I have been working on my secretarial skills with M0j0D4ddy for the past 9 months! I’ve even been working on the silly, silly girl part!

Today, at lunch, I fessed up to The General that while last year he suggested a definite NEITHER when I posed the question: “M0j0D4ddy or Mr. M.?” I seem to be stuck with both. Mr. M. because, well, just because I have annoying inexplicable feelings of wanting him ohhh so very much… and M0j0D4ddy because I have worked my butt off to define a custom-made lifetime relationship that is really cool for each one of us (The stage after our current Boss/Secretary-like thing.)

Scandalously, that relationship is akin to a BDSM Daddy-Girl dynamic (which can mean a million things.) The General, who is a vanilla dad, asked: “WTF, is a Daddy-Girl relationship!?” and I simply answered: “It’s the exact same thing as you and me!!!” That he seemed to understand quite well even in his hyper-vanilla way LOL Originally when I was attracted to The General I did not know that the mentorship-protection-encouragement was what I was actually looking for from him. I pondered this for years! I don’t say that I have daddy-issues… I have ‘no-daddy’ issues hahaha

In the past 5 years I have dissected what I want from that dynamic and the fact that I have been able to maintain healthy and very happy relationships with men over the past 5 years is entirely related to the love and support that I get from The General (and he knows it.) So it would appear that in absence of having a supportive family of my own, this relationship is key to me having the strength and security to deal, intelligently and gracefully, with all those relationship issues that normally arise as well as with personal issues such as parenting, health and work. But The General is moving on this Fall or early next year… hence the opening for a new mentor-type in my life.

So I told my would-be Daddy this weekend that I was seriously considering petitioning him officially for this role. It’s a lifelong leather-bond. In our definition it is non-romantic and non-sexual and not particularly Dom/sub either, simply the close protective emotionally bonded relationship of two people who have projects and goals in common. I once wrote that I wanted a pet lion because I was unaware of the existing Daddy-girl dynamic and I got myself EXACTLY that. I’m not letting go!!! And I have been “Daddy’s little princess that can do no wrong” for a while already and I hear all the time how he is very proud of me.

But there are variables that I do not know of. How do our prospective spouses (that do not exist at this time) deal with this very non-traditional relationship?! We both REALLY want to get married again! I want to be with a man who is strong enough to deal with this and I inform the men I date of my ‘special’ relationship with M0j0D4ddy ahead of them becoming attached or possessive of me. But unless M0j0D4ddy and I travel together, which we should do a few times a year, he lives 1000 miles away and doesn’t believe in meddling in my relationships. It is super obvious to me that none of my existing mentor-type relationships, even though they have existed for 1-10 years, would supersede my relationship with my spouse…

So I continue to ponder my decision while my pet lion is already rolling around purring all happy. I think I am going to make and send him something crafty this week as I await for his roar to come back. The poor kitty has lost his voice after breathing particles while isolating his attic.

I think, I formulate hypothesis and then ask a bunch of overly-personal questions… It yields interesting albeit frightening answers sometimes.

I don’t want to be out of touch, I have been really interested how teenagers grow and mature into adults. And I am also interested in generational differences and how people turn out differently depending on the quality of their relationship with their parents. Mind you I do it also to figure out how to raise my child to become a happy fulfilled independent adult. It is not obvious because I have raised 7 boys but now I have a daughter! Maybe I will have a daughter who is well informed on the matter of boys! Right now we talk about friendship and girl-cliques a lot. I am also concerned with age-appropriateness of the things I teach her. We have started talking about the internet, consumerism and cell phones. Next year she will be in third grade and that’s when everything starts to change.

But there’s a long way ’til the end of high school and college still. And right now I’m doing some research with university students to assess their needs for self-defense classes, notably Patrick’s Modern self-denfense class that addresses recent statistics of acquaintance sexual assault and rape.

I was very fortunate to have a conversation with a recent university grad last night and when he saw the course ware for Modern Self-Defense for Sexual Situations that become Non-Consensual, he said quite matter-of-factly that this was a sorely needed class. This class was originally developed for people involved in the BDSM lifestyle and those are usually more self-aware and negotiation-oriented than your average vanilla peeps. However, Patrick and I are re-working it for an audience of people who seem to need it way more notably college & university-aged women as well as sex workers, transsexuals and gay men. For each clientele the documentation and the communication has to be adapted because this is a touchy subject and it is really hard to convince people to take this compulsory life class. People would rather not think about it or talk about it.

I asked my recent university grad a bit of a downer question… But it is the basis for the current documentation I am writing for the college version of this class.

Out of all your girlfriends in your Facebook list, 20-25% of them have been sexually assaulted or raped. Do you know who they are?

He answered: “Unfortunately, yes…” It was interesting for me to listen to his take on the matter.

Self-defense classes are available but there aren’t enough instructors who specialize in real-world situations faced by young people today espescially young women 18-25. Let’s face it, women are sexually active and therefore encounter guys who range the scale from clueless to careless to just plain dangerous. And then there are those who are simply bad. But much harm is done by the first category and girls should learn to avoid or protect themselves against all bad sexual situations that could become non-consensual.

Over the years I’ve listened and and heard…

I told him to put on a condom but he tricked me and didn’t use one.

He bit me too hard.

He came once, didn’t tell me and we kept having sex. This is likely how I got pregnant.

I have a stupid random question, Is is rape if you were under the influence?

I believe that a happy safe sex life for men and women is born of sex education and sexual confidence. There is a lack of sex education if these kinds of situations keep happening every few seconds.

Self-defense is only one part of the puzzle but it is necessary and should be pursued on a regular basis. This is something women should be involved in on a yearly basis if one does not want to pursue a regular weekly martial arts program.

Patrick will be coming back to Montreal and hopefully Ottawa to teach. You can write to me to be notified when that happens at evavavoom [at] gmail.com. There will be separate and specific clientele-based classes and the curriculum is based on three years of listening to the specific questions of students in the class and the most recently available statistics from various rape-crisis center in North-America’s colleges and universities.

In Toronto, Sex educator Viktoria organizes Women’s REALISTIC Self Defense classes with her martial arts and self defense instructor. Write or call Viktoria for info ladyviktoria [at] ymail.com or 416-887-5621.

*Photo by nyki_m

There is little I have to say about Bullshit with Penn and Teller because it is usually informative, right on the money and entertaining. However, I do have something to say about their first show this season. They took on “The Big O” or the female orgasm and all those services that are supposed to help women achieve bigger and better orgasms.

This was perhaps the most poorly researched episode in seven seasons. Very little of the show was devoted to sex toys or sex tools as I tend to call them, most of which are crap for various reasons. Instead they focused a lot of air time on a few ‘sex coaches’ who offer teaching on sexuality’s function and pleasure.

We need more devoted and skilled people to teach adults how to have an enjoyable sex life! Three of the most important aspect of our adult lives are money/credit, sex/relationship and raising children and those skills we still acquire by fucking up along the way.

I suck tremendously at managing my money, I was fortunate enough to practice raising other people’s children as a nanny before I had my own. However, when it comes to sex, it took me 15-20 years before I hit my stride. And to think I have been obsessed with the topic for 25 years! In the past 5 years I was lucky to have access to an expert on sex and threw myself into every adult sex class she and other experts gave, just for the fun of it. It helped!

A week doesn’t go by without one of my friends telling me I should teach classes on relationship 2.0 and advanced sex. I really like getting sex questions from my vanilla friends. I get more questionning about sex that I think I should be getting. It’s not as if there’s no info out there but it’s easier and more beneficial to ask a person because by definition, a sex question should have follow-ups. Sometimes friends ask curiosity questions about my sex life but most of the time they ask about bettering their own sex life. Our conversations will often circle around relationship building that allows for more and better sex.

Two months ago I spent 5 hours in a Toronto living room with ten 25-year-old women and I was scandalized by how little they knew about sexuality, sex tools and sex toys. I was a fly on the wall and I kept my kinky mouth shut while my friend Viktoria gave a wonderful presentation. As Toronto’s premier sex toy confidente she gave the girls information on the latest toys and which are toxic and which are safe and also answered a million questions. Each woman was then able to see her one-on-one and purchase whatever they wanted. It was fun and the shy-ness about asking questions decreased tremendously as the wine bottles emptied. I learned so many things… about women One of which is that young women are generally very uncomfortable about talking to their partners about the specifics of sex. And they do not negotiate or plan ahead. It would seem that there is stigma attached to being knowledgeable about, talking about or planning sex. After hanging out with other women sex geeks for years, this realization was quite sobering.

Being around people who are knowledgeable about sex and have a very positive non-judgmental attitude tends to lower sexual shame and increase sexual confidence. So I will re-iterate that we need more sex coaches in the world not less!!

Do you remember when porn had merit as an art form? When performers seemed sincere and situations, while a bit contrived, were fun and realistic. Do you remember when porn actors looked like you and me? When male actors were filmed above the waist? When performers were rather nice to each other and were not expected to perform a series of parlor tricks, most of which are unpleasant and unsafe? Probably not because that was a LONG time ago!

I started watching ‘porn’ on television in the late seventies. I wasn’t even a teenager back then but I began seeking out and watching ‘adult’ entertainment. I don’t mean porn per say just things that were made for a more mature crowd. It was kind of hard to find but I persisted. I remember when Playboy TV came on and, low and behold, guests were allowed to use the Fword in interviews on the station’s ‘Late Night’ show. I remember one of the guest in the late eighties, he used to pick up chicks off the street and film himself or another actor having sex in a very amateurish way. His name was Buttman a.k.a. John Stagliano. He gave us Gonzo, imported Rocco Siffredi and, unfortunately, a market for copycat Max Hardcore.

Sometimes my encyclopedic knowledge of porn kind of spills out in vanilla settings and causes a bit of an uncomfortable moment. The first time I saw Rocco Siffredi on screen, in Night Trip II (1990), I thought he was so hot that I mentioned it to my girlfriends at school the next day. My college girlfriends knew I was a bit ‘different’ because I submitted anonymous ‘confessions’ to our college papers and eventually came out to them… But they were not fans of porn.

While I started watching erotica at a very young age, I am glad that sex was not yet packaged as a product. A product so different from reality that it would have prevented or ruined my enjoyment of it. Sex in older films looked more sincere, more real. It was attainable! Sex in old porn looks like my own sex life! Yes, even the freaky threesome parts! Sex in current porn I could have but why?! And I am perfectly comfortable with explaining to a partner why I don’t care to have ‘porno’ sex.

I don’t think porn is demeaning to women in general. The oversexualization of everything else might be. But porn is porn and the performers are paid to act out unrealistic sexual encounters which are supposed to be male sexual fantasies. Based on my research they are more based on a system of one-upmanship than actual fantasies of your average guy. Porn is one of many industries where profit is king and people are used, abused and thrown away quickly. There are a few male porn stars who appear to be skilled sexual tops (one of which is Mark Ashley) but all in all men in porn seem to have sex AT a woman rather than with her. These nuances are not obvious to teenagers who start watching hardcore porn at a very early age today. I think that watching porn hurts a man’s enjoyment of sex, lowers his self-esteem and provides little usable skill. But, having had a few partners who have grown up with access to Internet porn in their teenage years, I cannot say that I have noticed ‘porn damage’ anymore in men in their 20s over men in their 30s through 50s. Porn hurts women by making men annoyingly insecure. It takes away their ability to enjoy regular women over twenty. Of all my male friends and lovers, those who do not watch porn much or at all report having and enjoying a normal sex life. They are generally more happy people.

However I do not think the male landscape has changed that much. I’ve always thought that only one guy in 20 is worth fucking so rather than fuck the next 100, I have decided to develop skills to spot a keeper and then… well keep him, at least for a while.

But back to the fake sex…

There are a few people in porn that I admire. They are the ones who take it up a notch or have a real insight into their work in the grander scale of things and are truly enjoyable to listen to and watch.

In 1982, Annie Sprinkle, already a frequent performer in x-rated loops, directed her first full-length movie. When I saw this recently I thought it was adorable and I have included the first few minutes of it. Dr. Annie Sprinkle has explored human sexuality for 30 years and is still active as a lifestyle educator today.

[...video removed...]

Why am I revisiting vintage erotica? Well, I have have been thinking of putting my observations of alternate human sexuality over the past 30 years on paper and… well in the meantime a sweet bit of iconic 70s erotica is trying to resurface. We are talking here about the most recognized franchise in erotica for the past 35 years… I don’t know if it is faith but it’s on my desk and I feel what Tom Cruise must have felt when he snagged Mission Impossible… Now I just need to write down my ideas and find me a Paula Wagner!!!

A few months ago I wrote about the issue with teens using modern technology to get into more trouble than I could when I was their age. I’m glad that teenagers who are being prosecuted for making or distributing “child porn” are fighting back in court and that mainstream papers are talking about the issue. Because there are a lot of issues packed into this habit of classifying pictures of teenagers in underwear as ‘Porn’ and also charging teenagers with a serious crime for making a stupid decision that does not cause actual physical injury to anyone.

Was that a crazy plan? Bringing over dinner to my favorite overworked coder!? It didn’t actually work in so much that I got what I wanted over the phone without having to spring for food LOLz But I didn’t get a beard cuddle though I got interrogated by TheBaku even more specifically this time. He better be careful because I will gladly answer ANY questions he asks and it just seems to make him more bewildered about me. But that is fine. He’s the guy I have a crush on so he can ask any question he wants about my relationships and intentions towards any bumblebee that buzzes around me. But he doesn’t ask about my intentions towards him which is kind of funny. Though he has spies to tell him all about that I think. But my intent to drop over with some food was just that because I had dinner plans.

Tonight I had dinner with Lloyd Jr. I found him without motherly intervention and he replied immediately. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to schedule something until today. I was expectinghim not to care too much about getting together but he’s always been the one to ask or try to get a hold of me. I realized yesterday morning that he is the first person from the ‘legacy life’ who is going to get the unedited news. By legacy life I mean all these people from my hometown, family, school and work from years ago that have no insight into my life other than as a geeky mom. Lloyd Jr. and I haven’t spoken in 5 years. In fact the last time I ran into him I was on my way to the opera with A., my best gay. It was a few weeks before A. talked me into gay-crowding the fetish party at Cream. We went with his bf and 3 gay friends. And then the rest is history!

OMG!1! He’s still so friggin’ cute. He looks like a man now (wider!) We had the most fascinating of conversations blowing the lid on so many things we were never supposed to tell each other. I am now scandalized about the secret life of Lloyd Jr. It’s like I know him but I don’t because we both feel that our time together was hindered by going through tough crap and not yet knowing who we were (being under 20.) I told him about Mr. M. and he noted the similarity telling me to go to London where he said he had run into many twins of his LOL He says he is now open to ‘new things’. Guys should never tell me THAT hahaha. I’ll most likely nag him to come to a workshop in March, probably the BDSM relationship one, that will shed some light on the lifestyle for him. He’s still an exigent top control freak, always has been, always will be! I want him in my life and I told him. He’s a stickler for follow through and HE follows through having driven our getting together since I wrote to him a few weeks back. Oh and that thing I wrote that I wanted to do with him (it’s a secret), well HE brought it up first so we’ll see where that goes.

A while back I wrote on this blog that CJO is a bit like Mark Anthony. At the time it was because he had suggested we get together to shoot some slaves. This reminded me of one of the most obnoxious scenes in Rome (He has never watched Rome.) I figured he was saying this for the benefit of a certain slave who was within earshot. Personally I would rather not shoot at anyone. I’m not a sissy, I just think that the words ‘non lethal’ in the name of certain ammo is marketing bullshit. But give me a paint gun and I may change my mind; I’ll just make sure the sniper is on MY team!!!

When I started watching Rome in October, I thought that having a household like Atia and Servillia would be cool. Obviously, I have no use for decorative slaves but I could definitely use a chauffeur and a butler. Just once in a while. Everybody in this neighborhood seems to know that I am the thrifty single mom. I don’t even have a car when most others have 2.5 trucks and 1.25 cars. I noticed that having handsome guys appear out of nowhere to rake my yard and shovel my snow attracts some attention and questions. So if my daughter ever started a phrase with “Our butler…” it might trigger more questions than I care to answer…

Just like Mark Anthony, my sweetie is a very good warrior. As long as it supports his long term goals in some way, he will likely do anything I ask. I have missions lined up into 2010 for him and some are NOT easy! I’m courting a veteran Dom by being a total Domina and he LIKES it. Raising (elevating) Dominants is my shtick! I make sure regularly that it’s okay for me to hit him with the ‘to do’ stick harder and harder as the deadlines get closer. When both parties are sincere and fully into it, Dominance and submission are the exact same thing. I may joke about it but I see my management of his current engagements and his overall career change as ‘service’ to him.

Because he KNOWS that my thing is to help him get what he wants he has been more open about a lot of things. I am considering him as a life partner so I want to know what he wants however lofty, capricious or eccentric it may be. It’s a test in itself because at his age he is supposed to know what he wants. One of the recurring themes that has come up is that he wants a household (with slaves.)

I’ve suspected this for a long time and I have nothing against the concept. I don’t think it looks the same in my head as it does in his though! I LOVE this kind of relationship talk! Using his logic of having slaves giving him more time to do the cool stuff he’d rather do (like gardening and sex.) I will gladly lay down a plan that includes him as my landscaping and sex slave!

Today I could toot my own horn on so many things but this is my personal journal so… I will make fun of my own silliness and regret posting it tomorrow.

I have been writing dialogue (TV script form – R-Rated stuff, kinda scandalous) and in this dialogue there are flashbacks to events of my life going back 30 years. Because it seems like my life is weirder and more eventful than anything I could make up. Here is a flashback-scene that occurs during an episode that deals with ‘territorial issues’ between friends/lovers in polyamorous situations.

1988 – Bitty and Lloyd Jr. watching TV in the living room.

Bitty: “Oh cool. I’ve never seen this before.”
Lloyd Jr.: “Argh, I can’t watch this.”
Bitty: “Oh no!!!”
Lloyd Jr.: “I can’t believe he did that!”

Sensing distress, the dog runs to Lloyd and Bitty to calm them down.

Lloyd Jr.: “I can’t watch this…”
Bitty: “No, I want to see what will happen.”
Lloyd Jr. gets up and walks away.

On the TV screen the new alpha lion is holding a lifeless cub in his jaw.

I always want my dates to be right so I pulled a stack of pictures from when I was about 17. There he is, Lloyd Jr. in the living room with our beloved dog. This was taken in his mom’s apartment. She and I lived together on and off.

Who is Lloyd Jr?

He is my first love! I remember us running around in the apartment my mother had when I was in pre-school (5 years old.) That’s a LONG time ago! I would not call our relationship that close as he hid the fact that he is gay from me until I ran into him in a gay bar about a year after this picture was taken. He didn’t keep it from me as much as from ‘my side’ of the family. This was before the big coming out of the closet paradigm shift circa 1996 (if you are old enough to remember how things were before Ellen came out of the closet and ‘Will & Grace’ hit the air.) At the time I had a bisexual boyfriend and a gay roommate so I didn’t let him ‘have it’ but c’mon! LLoyd Jr (who is 5 years older) and I have ALWAYS had a platonic relationship. In fact when you are a kid, ‘crushes’ don’t really have much of a sexual or even romantic connotation.

While I had many absolutely adorable faux-cousins growing up (two became Chippendale-type dancers LOL) Lloyd represented the ideal of beauty. After that every guy I met was subconciously measured against Lloyd Jr’s looks. But then again I do not date my ‘type’ as I am very much into personality and being ‘handsome’ is not an accomplishment!

Lloyd Jr moved to Montreal to study at the fancy economics school and took up wearing fancy financier suits and striped shirts. My favorite moment after that is Lloyd Jr. and I in bed in his apartment while he’s talking to a female classmate on the phone and saying: “There is a girl in my bed! I swear, I’m not lying LOLz”.

It took awhile for me to also move to Montreal and since then I have only run into him occasionally. For the past 20 years I have been busy full time with relationships and I haven’t been single for more than a few months at a time. I ALREADY have a ‘Best Gay’ and I don’t see him often enough! I’ve also been on a ‘women friends’ quest.  I know he tried to reach me awhile back but I have been too lazy to do anything about it. I am uncomfortable asking his mom for his phone number because our moms gossip about us! I will! Promise! And I have really cool stories to tell him… but I live in a very queer world that seems so far out of his own world.

I looked at my past relationships, not the ones I build with success, but the ones directed by cupid’s arrow and realized that every 10 years I fall in love inexplicably with someone out of the blue. Strangest part is that it’s been mutual.

The second guy who falls into that category is the bisexual boyfriend I had when I was 19 years old. We met at a common acquaintance’s house and were together while I was in college. When he met me, he sat down next to me and kissed my hand saying that it was lovely to make my acquaintance. And I looked at him like he was an alien, I’m sure. He was kind of ‘old’ for a 28 year-old, regal and serious and somehow we wound up making out in one of the guest rooms after playing Scrabble got underwhelming. He was REALLY a Top but in a very intellectual way. We had lots of naughty fun because I seemed to be the only non ‘square’ girl in his life. We once ran into this girl I used to model with and she, knowing him, addressed him with the polite version of you (‘vous’.) Cute! I was the only person who knew him fully and eventually that caused problems because he is in politics and became more secretive about his life and past.

The third one I will be close to for the rest of my life. Strangely, I had ALWAYS felt we were incompatible but he recently said the contrary.

Last year Mr. M. waltzed in (ETA: And I felt what must be an incredible sense of recognition!) When I recently pulled out the picture above I was all like ‘Holy Fuck!’ they look exactly the same (I’ve since sent side-by-side shots to a few people who say it’s the same person 10 years apart.) It’s strange that it took me so many months to realize that. And it’s not a looks thing as much as general personality. But did this subconsciously make me ignore The Gates by Christo that is Mr. M? But I’ve long thought of Mr. M. as “This guy is going to be my death!” So I haven’t been completely blind.

I have had much better relationships built on foundations of friendship and compatibility and now that I know Cupid is not necessarily my friend, and may just be messing with my head, I will beware who suddenly appears in my life in 10 years time.