On The Topic of Marcus and Michele Bachmann

July 14th, 2011 Eva Vavoom Posted in BDSM, Books, Dudes, LGBT, Philantropy, Politics, Relationships, Sexuality No Comments »

I tried to comment on this post on Jezebel but it didn’t work for some reason so here it goes.

There is controversy brewing about Dr. Bachmann’s practice in the media. Last night, Jon Stewart and Jerry Seinfeld did a very funny segment on Mr. Bachmann’s apparently gay affect. Jon called him a hypocrite which shocked me. I am a coach myself, I teach men to attain relationship and sexual bliss. A lot of that involves establishing a strategy and putting in into play over many months. Journalists deride the Bachmann’s in various ways bout it is obvious to me that these are two sincere individuals. You can’t be sincere AND a hypocrite at the same time. You can be sincere AND completely wrong that’s for sure. I have researched the ‘pray the gay away’ movement and come to the conclusion that the only people who sincerely think that homosexuality is a choice are the people who have chosen not to be gay. I am someone who has specifically chosen my lifestyle and constructed a life of bliss based on my vision of adulthood since I was 12 (i.e. being an influential person in the life of my friends and enjoying a non-monogamous lifestyle of knowledge, play and sex) The Bachmanns seem to me like people who have accomplished that as well. They seem happy together, sound sincere when they speak and have raised 5 children and fostered two dozen more. As a couple who devotes time every single day to the welfare of other, they are exceptional. They are walking the walk on what THEY sincerely believe unlike the Koch whores who make up a considerable amount of Congress. Considering what appears to be Mr. Bachmann’s choice, it’s probably not easy! I can’t deride them for making a choice and sticking to it and I understand why their first jest would be to get others in on their bliss!

The caveat is that I know from experience that embarking into a ‘role’ in adulthood or a relationship can be, as Michele says: ‘Bondage!’ and lead to heart disease, depression and regret in some people. Life is kinda short and that tends to hit home in the 40s. And you thought that was a mid-life crisis?!

Now as much as I admire them for their family skills, they would be unlikely to admire me. I gladly travel on the edge of society and every time I’ve gone once around, I discover that the edge has moved a little bit outward and once again I go. I upgrade my knowledge of how people think, feel and love on a daily basis. The Bachmanns, however, are running on legacy software. Faith is one thing. For instance, it’s quite cool that God speaks to Michele directly. Hey God speaks directly to me too! But I suspect her entourage may also have helped convince her to go into politics. Religion is a whole nother ball game though. It’s a program. And religious people’s reasoning is based on a database of information which has little to do with facts or science. Clusters of people who run on the same legacy software like Catholicism or Evangelical Christianism are natively compatible and they get along swell. Often these people are in the same age group so their priorities are similar as well. But their legacy software is full of security holes (superstitions) that pose a REAL threat to progressive society. But when legacy software people try to broadcast their antiquated ideas and pseudo facts to a generation under 30, we collectively return a WTF?! error. And that happens en masse during political campaigns.

There are moneyed interests whom, after years of investing in think tanks, have figured out a way to hack the legacy software and install it in all aspects of U.S. life with devastating effect. And kudos to them for acting at the exact right time when people who run on buggy and insecure legacy software are still young enough to be bought and used in politics, notably the U.S. Congress. And what a resounding success it has been for the roll back of human rights in the U.S.

Just so you understand my position here :

It is wrong to prevent people from unionizing or uniting for a cause when corporations can have unlimited amount of lawyers. It is abusive to prevent people from expressing their gender and sexuality. It is psychologically abusive to indoctrinate children into a religion. It is anti-humanistic to remove access to sexual health preventative medical care. It is just plain cruel to declare women unable to make decisions about their own heath and reproduction. And, it is also wrong to micro-manage a soldier’s career based on whether or not they attend religious rallies organized by some of their leaders.

You know when you grow up and suddenly realize that your parents don’t know any better, are blatantly wrong, are somewhat embarrassingly daft. Well it must be how some young adults are feeling in the U.S. At least I hope that that is how they are feeling because they are stuck interacting with people who refuse to upgrade their database to include recently acquired knowledge, scientific progress and a reasonable understanding of how people experience their lives today. Unfortunately we can’t enlighten them against their will. We could try to influence them by writing what is important to us on 100$ bills! Perhaps Colbert SuperPAC can make a difference even though progressives are a few years lacking in that effort.

It is important to push DIFFERENT people into politics. Sincere people who make sense. Michele and Marcus represent a subset of the population who are working hard to turn all of us into the gut bacteria of giant multinational corporations. That is their hopes and dreams for the future.

But take the case of Ron Paul. I don’t know if his policies are all feasible yet but researching them is quite an adventure! Heck he could be sincere AND wrong like the Bachmanns but most of what he says makes enough sense to me to be involved into researching whether or not ending the Federal Reserve is feasible or even a good idea. Mr. Paul is sincere and consistent and that has netted him his own army of followers and helpers. When Ron Paul speaks you get the impression he is speaking to the priorities of his core supporters who affect his work through volunteering, not just giving money!!! So it is possible for non-billionaires to affect the quality of politician we get!

So your homework today is to change the world changing the politicians. You will look around you and try to spot that one person under 30 whom you feel has the leadership qualities to represent you. And then you will embark on a campaign to get them to accomplish something important on their list of things to do. Then, you will continue this effort by getting them into a leadership position at a local or state level. One would have to be a raging narcissist to decide for themselves to go into the political scene (Or want to increase their speaking fees and sell more books…) Leadership develops really well when people around you encourage you to take issues and projects on.

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A Fascinating Window Into Homophobia

September 3rd, 2008 Eva Vavoom Posted in LGBT, Politics, Television No Comments »

So recently some friends of mine got their boy shorts in a bunch over a Bill O’Reilly video where he does his usual shtick and whines about the “maintreamization” of gay culture. He seems to enjoy calling people “provocateurs” for being gay while picking at issues that provoke his base like his classic OMFG!!!l! Dumbledore is Gay! episode (Link to Media Matter and I also recommend Keith Olbermann’s cool segment on the topic).

Bill caters to a group of people that is slowly dwindling:

- The moral majority (formerly known as the Bible Belt) and just about as truthfully descriptive as “The Clean Air Act” or “The No-Spin Zone”.
- Old people who haven’t been out of the house since 1982.
- People like me who will watch for a laugh when he is interviewing someone who is about to POWN him.
- People who really like hearing about gays but must protect their heterosexual house of cards or who don’t have LOGO or Bravo in The Heartland.

He still calls them the 50% of America that agrees with him (they are suppesedly also Bush’s base.) Bill works at Fox, a television network that reads from talking points and rarely looks out the window. He is sort of like Howard Stern but on the other side of the medal… actually I shouldn’t say that because they have the same guests on!

Through his choice of topics he tries to provoke a knee jerk reaction in his viewers whom he recognizes are mostly made up who people who are afraid of gays!

I often feel dismissed by my gay friends when the topic of homophobia comes up. Like my little straight self couldn’t possibly have an expertise on the topic. Excuse-me but this is a subject I KNOW A LOT about as I have spent countless hours in conversation with homophobes. These people fall into many categories most of which are quite benign and that is why I never get my boy shorts in a bunch when I encounter one.

Am I really bad for dismissing homophobes? I mean there are worst things to be in life than a poor sheltered soul who is afraid of gays. And I certainly don’t think homophobe = Hilter. I am grown up and witnessed the emergence of “gay” in mainstream as early as 1985 when Rock Hudson died of illness related to Aids. Then people had “longtime companions” and the closet door started to open. I still have a VHS tape with Ellen’s coming out episode around here somewhere. Watching every step of “gay” becoming mainstream certainly didn’t make me gay.

I don’t watch EVERY gay and lesbian themed show on TV. I admit I threw up in my mouth a little when I saw “A shot at Love with Tile Tequila“.

In my own little straight world I had access to how straight people REALLY feel about gay people… And I ask… a lot! And around me there are people who are totally afraid of gays like they are some kind of vampires with magical powers!

Really my opinion on the matter is not going to change their view on the topic and what I have noticed is that people generally calm down about homosexuality when they realize that someone close to them is gay. They realize that everything will be fine because the world didn’t end when aunt Patricia brought her girlfriend to the Christmas party.

Unfortunately there is probably no cure for that poor woman on Maury who is deftly afraid of pickles.

I have edited down a clip from Big Brother Australia (Season 5) which illustrates various people’s feelings about homosexuality. What Kate will reveal is a common fear amongst people I have talked to (mostly male.) When you consider that 10% of the population is gay, the chances of this happening to you over your lifetime is quite high and Kate is certainly not alone in her fears and it is usually why I do not immediately pass judgment on people who appear homophobic. Homophobia is a knee jerk reaction that comes from people who have little self control or lack maturity and insight into the world around them. I am fascinated at the stories I hear from people I poke on the matter and I have other clips like this that I can analyze.

In this clip, Houseguests are asked to perform their own dare for the rest of the group. Kate reads the instructions. Tim’s dare is to mock the twins in the house (Greg and David) by kissing one and talking to the other. This was obviously intended for the girls. Tim and Greg’s kiss elicits squeals of horror from Kate who then explains she is homophobic. This situation turns into an interesting windows into homophobia.

This is rarely seen footage from a canceled Big Brother roundup show called Uncut (then Adults Only.) That was a truly awesome look into the secret lives of young adults (be it young adults who are cooped up in a house for 100 days) and unfortunately it was too much to handle for the general Australian public and has not been produced for two years.

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Katy Perry Kissed a Girl and Now I Have to Explain Lesbians to my Daughter

August 12th, 2008 Eva Vavoom Posted in Chicks, LGBT, Music, Sexuality, Unexpected Sex No Comments »

This might seem like a simple thing to do and it’s pretty strange that the subject hasn’t come up yet. So mommy should say: “So some girls like girls and they are called Lesbians!” End of story.

However, what happens when my daughter meets my dozen girlfriends and identifies them as lesbians. Will they bite her head off like they bite mine off when I ever utter the “L” word? My friends who would identify as lesbians are actually in the closet (one even to ME!) and all others identify as something else. They are “Queer” or some other term I suspect they may have made up like “hottiesexual” (all fun terms to mean bisexual.) For the most part I do not want to get into what each one of these terms means to a 7-year old who fast forwards through the kissing in High School Musical.

My only bisexual girlfriend whom I “really” like, and my daughter met once, decided to be a dude so I already explained the situation to my daughter. This is a way more complicated subject that I take to heart because it took me 20 years of pondering to understand what gender is and is not.

My daughter may not remember it but she has a girlfriend who likes to kiss girls (who’s married mom keeps hitting on me) however they have moved to the US. Originally I was annoyed that she would go around kissing the other girls, including mine, because of germs but then let it go.

But even then, someone who kissed a girl and liked it is not exactly a lesbian or even bisexual for that matter!

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On Sex Ed

February 29th, 2008 Eva Vavoom Posted in LGBT, Politics No Comments »

“We should have age-appropriate sex education that includes information about contraception.” – Barack Obama

While that statement seems very obvious, it addresses a serious problem with sex educations in the U.S. When Obama speaks of LGBT issues, same sex marriage, sex education, gays in the military and HIV/AIDS prevention, he simply sounds like he believes in and understands the issue he is talking about. I can’t contribute to Obama’s campaign but like many other foreigners who winds up affected by U.S. politics, I just thought I would point this out.

Building an understanding of these complex issues often starts in Sex Ed.

For more information on the dire state of Sex Ed in the U.S. I highly recommend Violet Blue’s conference for Google EngEDU: Abstinence does not make the heart grow fonder.

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