Sex is FREE!

Little did I know that when attending an evening of travel presentation at the local Yacht Club with Mr. P., I would meet Tas, a talented baker of perverted cakes. Tas, whose background is computer science and math, is even looking for ways to incorporate advanced features (animated parts) into his creations. Read the rest of this entry »

I enjoyed a great weekend at Floating World 09, met interesting people and continued to observe life on the fringe. Coming back, I thought I would write about all the fun I had there and some really awesome developments in my life but this whole big article will be about a tiny sliver.

I have been watching a bit of Rock of Love, Daisy of Love and Charm School recently. I want to understand the under culture of decorative people (espescially women) and try to figure out their appeal to men. As I watch the antics, cat fights, terrible language and general lack of class… I don’t see it.

We don’t have this culture here in Canada. Sure Montreal has it’s slew of prostitutes, strippers and porn stars but it’s easy to understand who they are and what they accomplish for a living. In the U.S. it’s different. Tila Tequila proved that one can become a celebrity without doing much more than being decorative and milking it for all it’s worth. In Tila’s case, her claim to fame was having the most friends on MySpace. But she wasn’t the first girl famous for being famous, just the first to emerge from Web 2.0 which makes it easy for girls who do not have the technical Savvy of a Cindy Margolis or Danni Ashe to post pictures of themselves and quickly garner thousands of pervy fans. Long before the Internet, there was Carmen Electra, Tawny Kitaen, Apollonia Kotero and others who basically stuck around forever after being in one movie or music video. Through the rise and fall of Anna Nicole Smith, I have watched various media outfits like Entertainment Tonight and E! take advantage of her ‘sex’-appeal for ratings. Throughout and right up until her death, ANS seemed oblivious to the fact that her life was a modern-day freak show.

Nevertheless, there seems to be hundreds of self-made Myspace models who are breaking out as semi-professionals by appearing on a variety of reality shows turning their Online popularity into fancy confined living, free drinks and a chance to open-mouth kiss an ugly Rock Star on national television (ewww!.) I am trying really hard to think of someone who might have broken through the stampede of heavily tattooed and wigged chicks in stripper heels to emerge as an inspiration for the rest of us. I give up…

Of all the decorative people in Hollywood, Megan Hauserman is probably one of the most active models appearing on countless reality shows. I have always liked Megan since I first saw her on one of my favorite shows Beauty and The Geek (which she won) a few years back. However, Megan seems to have acquired a few monkeys on her back and made some questionable business decisions. When watching the preview first episode of Megan Wants a Millionaire six weeks ago, it became obvious to me that VH1 is punking Megan by introducing her to 14 rather unattractive men who just happen to be millionaires. It would have been great to see if, despite this, Megan would find a gem. However, the one contestant who was somewhat palatable was recently found dead following an apparent suicide after being chased down by the police and accused of killing his quickie Vegas bride and stuffing her dismantled body in a suitcase. This unfortunate turn of events has forced VH1 to cancel Megan Wants a Millionaire… not that I would have watched the train wreck anyway.

So it goes without saying that I have always wondered about the secret life of decorative women who live in dramarama, err… Hollywood and get invited to every party at the Playboy mansion.

I had the pleasure of meeting such a person recently. After admitting that she had read everything I had ever written (elsewhere and under a different pseudonym LOL) and was intimidated at the thought of meeting me, she proceeded to tell me about herself so I would agree to let her spend time with MY man. This is rather amusing. Of course I did not object… Unless she was carrying a concealed weapon or was completely crazy.

So let’s call her Paisley for simplicity’s sake. She is quite nice and interesting and I took an immediate liking to her. However she also said her IQ was 183! When we spent time together I was more concerned with listening to her than making fun of her for being quite exceptional considering an IQ is usually measured on a scale capping at 165. Having M0j0D4ddy otherwise occupied with a girl allowed me to have important conversations with very important people and sleep at night!

While I am pretty sure Paisley really is a quasi-famous pole dancer, she also said she was an experienced model and would be in a few publications I am familiar with including Forbes.

For various reasons if Forbes actually puts her and other “women in the business” in a pictorial in their magazine it will change everything (I have already publicly riled against CNN, Time Magazine and Forbes for dousing their Web media counterpart with sex in order to get more eyes on their content.) But I am dubious as to the stories of this professionally decorative woman because she also said she would be in/on Perfect 10 and I was sure they were all about women who did not have implants!? But in all it was super interesting to spend time with her.

But then I started thinking…

Pretty women are rarely contradicted therefore they develop and very high opinion of their own intellect and personality. I also have this theory that being singled out as beautiful from early on in life will influence someone to put too much importance on outward appearance over intelligence or learned abilities. While I personally cannot help but be in awe of someone male or female who is naturally beautiful without any artifice, beauty in itself is no accomplishment to be proud of. However, it is the most important quality in U.S. culture. Beauty is also the last bastion of sexism. In media and entertainment, men are chosen based on competence and women often need to be both competent and beautiful to stand out. And if competence is not that important, as is the case for much of TV talking heads, beauty must win over brains as so many anchorwomen have that deer caught in the headlights look permanently plastered on their face.

My uncle, who is close to 80, lives in Florida and spends six weeks a year in Canada remarked on the difference in the quality of news anchors in Canada VS the U.S. this weekend. This also prompted a discussion on the importance of beauty over competence and the confusion between fame and infamy in the U.S. where someone can attain great fame simply by being controversial and stupid…

So back to my recent encounter with Paisley… Being set aside after a 48 hour fling, she has developed an interesting case of desperation and is coming off as the complete opposite of who she said she is. She is a ticking bomb… though going off would not serve her very well. I have watched as she has fallen madly in love with MY man and is trying desperately to worm her way into his life. For months I have been telling M0j0D4ddy that he is not very good at protecting his time which, coupled with his ability to get distracted by shiny things, will forever leave him without any feelings of accomplishing concrete things. Of course that is only a small glimpse into a bigger picture but this is a beautiful opportunity to watch him try to manage this woman in a way that is appropriate to the situation. Unfortunately, this is a reactive situation, yet again and very few good things come out of reactive situations. I much rather plan ahead… After all M0j0D4ddy’s life is a story I’ve already written.

In this case I correctly guessed that any new conquest who met me and got my approval would like me and then when things didn’t match her fantasy anymore, she would look to me for support, cliff notes, F.A.Q., etc. As she calls me to get support, I try to be a realist and tell it to her like it is. I sincerely would like us to be friends in the long run. Time will tell if she uses this information to walk away gracefully or create more drama and continue to act the opposite of how she said she would manage the situation. But throughout the week I have seen her use a few manipulative techniques that I do not approve of. Perhaps I will write about those eventually.

Not too tired after a night out at The Loft du Chateau with Mr. P. I was staking out the place for my event and somehow it looked smaller the second time around. But it’s going to be just fine for what I have to do. It was a special evening for Masters so I went for a disheveled secretary after the office party kinda look. However when I go out with Mr. P. I let him be in charge of my attire so he usually reorganizes what I am wearing in another way. He also bought a remote controlled egg which I put into my pantyhose LOLz No it wasn’t necessarily ‘pleasing’ in a sexual way but it tickled a lot so I let people be amused at my reaction to it. I was also looking forward to spending a bit of time with LS (He did my suspension bondage during the Everything To do with Sex Show and we’ve spent hours together since then.) So the whole evening I was either with Mr. P, LS or both in an obviously ‘friendly’ way. Best moment: When they were talking together, or about me, as if I wasn’t there LOL I like not being in charge and not being the center of attention and when I am in that space, I do not have to think, or say anything witty or even remember anything. It’s like being on a brain vacation LOL

I noticed there was this guy always passing by us. You know the type dressed all in black with a whip tied to his belt. I figured he was just peeping. People interact differently with subs and I like to see the world from that perspective. I don’t care to put on a Mistress/Domina costume and parade around. Submitting to me is real-life hard work for real-life rewards so I rarely ‘play’ and I think I only scened publicly once in the past 3 years when I did some cock bondage work in the medical room at Lady Viktoria’s Loft. That’s why some people talk about my ‘cock work’ LOL

When I was getting ready to leave that predatory guy came over to me and introduced himself as MasterBill(*Not his actual name). I said “Hello Bill” and gave him my covert sub name. He was visibly upset and said “No, it’s MasterBill!” putting the emphasis on Master. I was a bit amused. I mean in the BDSM scene people introduced themselves with their ‘title’ like Miss, Mistress, Lady or whatever so it is not as uncool as introducing yourself as ‘Mister Smith’ in a Vanilla situation… However, he crossed the line by insisting that I call him ‘Master’ something. He then asked me why I did not play that night. How interesting that he was not able to discern that I had an awesome time playing with Mr. P., LS and random strangers (via remote control) all evening. He also said that perhaps with the right Master, the pleasure would be great. That was his most entertaining comment. Who is this guy to move in on me as my date is busy talking to JeePee, the owner, and insinuate that my companions are in any way inadequate because they did not whip or flog me during the evening. I told him I was not available. He eventually buzzed off as there were two subs, I already know, excitedly talking to me. Situations like that are fun because when M0j0D4ddy and I talk about them, he will usually entertain me with what he would have told the fucktard LOL Douchebags and assholes entertain me but one thing is for sure, when M0j0D4ddy and I are in the same space, he gets to be ‘Executive in charge of biting the head off people who bug me’. He can have that job permanently if he wants it.

My sweetie spent the weekend in Texas at a Master/slave conference. I haven’t the foggiest idea what people do or learn at these things but his main job was to mingle anyway. He did mingle and he told me he kept bragging about me LOL I don’t know why he feels he must assure me he is not peeling panties left and right. I told him, again, the hotness that he is shouldn’t go to waste. That makes him giggle but I’m serious. As long as he doesn’t meet any Dominiques! We’ve been the target of some really serious meddling from outside over the past month and yet things are going even better between us. Who cares how things are going when things are all rosey, it’s when there are issues and problems to deal with that you can really see what a person is made of. He said that to me in mid-January. Originally sidetracking him into a project was my way of getting to that without actually verbalizing my goal LOL

The fact that I write about him here is out in the open now and all of M0j0D4ddy’s stalkers know or will eventually know about this blog (That is why I hacker spell his name LOL.) I copy-pasted all references and dated then in chronological order so that he could read my characterization of him. He simply told me I can write whatever I want about him. Our relationship dynamic is officially ‘peers’ even though I lead and he follows. My leadership is a service to him. This seems to confuse certain people. For all the thing I write or joke about him or us here there are 50 more juicy tidbits that I feel are way more unique or funny.

We are actively working on defining a Relationship 2.0 on a daily basis where both parties, who are mature and know what they want, share that information BEFORE getting into a relationship. Often I will tell him what he wants. I do that because he lights up when I discover him rather than him having to tell me everything. But I often do it in a mock chastising way where I scold him for being high maintenance LOL Last week we had the ‘household’ conversation. These gems don’t belong on my blog, they belong in a different context and we haven’t decided what that context will be yet.

I guess it’s a big deal because I only go out dancing once or twice a year. Last night was the annual Dukes of Drag takeover of Meow Mix, a monthly party for girls at Sala Rosa. The show was great, as usual and it will go on again on March 13th at Cafe Cleopatre on Saint-Laurent. I had planned to bring a few people but they all had previous engagements. Lloyd Jr. is on a Plane to Bali and Mon Pou (The Perfect Stranger) had a going away party for his roommate so I hung out and danced with my usual motley crew of Unholy Army gals. I don’t actually need to make arrangements, I seem to be randomly running into everyone I want or need to see these days anyway.

But I don’t feel like writing about the blessings of my life right now. I’m just living my life and enjoying it. It seems like others have the Instamatic and are documenting it too.

Something in my modem went awry! Being offline for 24 hours was not pleasant!

I had mentioned somewhere that I’m heterosexual because all the women I know and am attracted to are transitioning to become men one after the other. This kind of implies that they were men all along and perhaps I recognized that subconsciously as we met. But I wouldn’t want to say I have special FtM detection powers or anything!?! I found out that yet another one is going to follow suit and it’s still under wraps. It was fun that we were together this weekend and there were NO OTHERS from our usual crowd so we got to hang out an cuddle for a quite a while. It was the first time in three years we got to do that. Her friends are totally cool as well. Here’s the best lesson on friendship I can pass along. Stick to friends who are absolute gems. They may not be very available compared to total losers but they will invariably attract ONLY people who are gems as well and then it gets really interesting really fast!

I think my surroundings have been loser-free for almost a decade (other than the obligatory family assholes I’ve had to put up with.) Moving to Montreal was my wake-up call to clean up my life. Also, throwing myself into a mosh pit of queer-girl fabulousness (via the Unholy Army) was the best way to learn how to develop awesome friendships with women. I have to keep working at it because well, like I said before they are transitioning into men left and right or moving away! I am still terrified of vanilla girls, espescially their habit of judging me for my kinky inclinations. Shrug…

Speaking of vanilla girls… I remember telling Mr. M on U.S. Thanksgiving that I was hoping Yoshi getting a job at The Coffee Shop would let him meet new girls to keep him busy and ease our separation. Well he did exactly that! And she is so adorable and I am ever so proud of Yoshi AND he is such a Dom LOL Obviously there is more to this than what I will write here and when I told TheBaku a month ago he didn’t believe me Yoshi could find someone who fit a very specific profile… Well his head will explode pretty soon!!!

I am so late on everything! I am not sure this will have a Part III yet.

It’s a rambling journal entry!

Fell asleep quite late last night. I am obviously high on oxytocin and endorphins and it’s keeping me awake. But at least it’s productive and inspired awake. I have figured out many novel ways to execute a bunch of plans. And Lord knows I load myself with overly eccentric goals and plans. But I decided that in 2009 I am going to do a lot of cool stuff, from simple pleasures to seemingly impossible plots.

Sometimes I just need to have the guts to ask for what I want.

I had an eventful three days resulting in a LOT of things to process. All good things really. I had a plan to have lunch with Lloyd Jr., drinks with TheBaku and dinner with Bearded DiCaprio on Friday. That was overly ambitious and too last minute to pull off (okay maybe the fact that it was -75 didn’t help either.) I was however quite tickled that my sweetie made me dinner. He ALWAYS takes me out to dinner unless I make him something. Unfortunately the freezing and thawing of my toes during travel to Verdun gave me the worst migraine… so we skipped out on playing Rock Band.

While I was on my way to Bearded DiCaprio’s (I waited for the train 1 hour!) I suddenly started wondering what it would be like to live with Mr. P. It’s all pragmatic really, I am getting tired of paying a fortune for this huge house. House = Yeah. Rent = Bleh. So Saturday afternoon, of course, Mr. P goes all U-Haul on me. WTF?! But really it’s for the same pragmatic reasons as me. It’s more complicated than that. But we didn’t talk about it when we went out Saturday. He and I are very bad at communicating that we are friends. Everyone thinks we are a romantic couple. We are friends with benefits but we are not fuck friends. Are you confused also!? Then your confusion amuses us greatly. Mr. P and I get along swimmingly and he has passed my six month consideration process (the amount of time it takes me to develop trust and become attached to someone.) But then Mr P. listens to me talking to someone else and says: “I didn’t know you were looking for a husband?!” Duh! So we obviously have more discussions to have.

On Saturday I also ran into TheBaku. I was haaappeee to see him! I got interrogated AND lectured by him! Oh yes he did! After inquiring about who I was with at the party, he proceeded to share his opinion on my propensity to spend quality time with my exes. On top of that, this conversation happened after Mr. P purposefully malfunctioned my attire to embarrass me. I have to give it to him, TheBaku has character AND a sense of humor! I’ve been a fan what he does for a while and I am becoming a fan of who he is. But sincerely, there are already way too many people in my life with ADD!!! Maybe next time I see him I will be interrogated, lectured AND scolded LOL Progress is good in a relationship and he does it in a very sweet way! It would be very hard for me to pretend to be all demure and nice as he contacted me on a naughty website for perverts… a website that HE built! Hahahaha! It’s his fault I’ve rekindled my relationship with with Mr. P and met CJO and a become friends with a lot of other people who influence me to be naughtier! It ALSO emboldens me to totally objectify and fetishize him in the way I write and talk to him. Here’s what I see when I see TheBaku. Drooool. But he’s not blonde so kudos to him LOL I only fantasize about cooking dinner for him and taking latin dancing classes with him. That’s my story and I am sticking to it!

I think this is going to be a five part post… no really!

I don’t know what possessed me to ask Mr. P. if he wanted to go to a party but I did. I had attended Mistress Jade’s birthday dinner in November but Yoshi and I skipped on the play party. Last time I went to a party was in late May at the last Fetish 4 Play in Montreal. I like going to parties to meet people I know of but haven’t met in person yet. It’s always a surprise who will be there. We went to Le Manoir des Bougainvilleas which is so far out of anywhere I would normally go. What a well equipped place they have.

That being said we spent most of the time on the couch chatting and petting LOL I always love having a nice head to pet. We talked about relationships, plane crashes (his) and physical science. It was almost like being on a date with James May. He is the only person who has ever verbalized what I do as a Domina. I raise Dominants. Yup… Righteous, Assured and Fearless. Why raise serfs when you can raise Lords?

I was fun to be at a play party without being in charge of anyone.  The crowd was mostly francophone and people there didn’t really know what to make of us, constantly asking if I was his submissive. LOL I had a simple empire waist dress and whispy hair bun and he was wearing all black with a sports jacket. Mr P is a Sadist and I am NOT a masochist (well I scream and wimper in an entertaining way but it gets old for me very fast.) We are friends. Last night Mr P was in the mood to pleasure me. Good for him… err. me!

I got to meet a Dom I had wanted to run into for a long time. Rope artist and geek. Not pretentious at all, he oozes sincerity and realness. It’s quite rare! As he was leaving he came over to say goodbye to Mr P. I was on my back leaning against Mr P discreetly masturbating just listening to them talk and after he said goodbye he just spent a little while standing there looking at my face, then he simply turned around and left. That gave me a nice jolt! I wonder if I am enjoying being specifically denied or just playfully ignored because it fits my agenda…

Tomorrow there’s an all day nerd herd get together and and all night queer girl sex party. Don’t tell the nerds about what the girls are up to! Tempting. Of course these prospects are not as exciting as the plans I could come up with on my own. Today is, after all, last day of semester.

Somebody chain me to a radiator!

Nah! Priorities are: Making something special for dinner & interesting (or silly) conversation. Ideally with someone new-ish.

I am never as lonely after spending a whole week alone as I am after a full week of interacting with kids and other parents.I’ve been thinking of blending my custody week so that each of us would have a free night in the middle of the week. I may need to do that anyway as I have a class to prepare and teach early next year.

This weekend is a gift as it is the last one before Christmas madness and on Monday I am starting two new projects. Christmas used to be a treat and an occasion to eat my grandmother’s food. For the past few years since she has passed away, it’s been dreadful. Now my brother is taking over the tradition.

I may be in a self-indicated quarantine but that isn’t going to prevent me from going out with my buds. On Saturday, I had brunch with the Kings (now known as Dukes of Drag) and saw their most-attended show ever at the last Meow Mix. I was sick and couldn’t attend it live so it was great to see it on video. My only goal, other than seeing my buds, was to put on a little presentation of the Web strategy to empower the non-techies to contribute to all the online tasks.

I then headed out to the ATQ Velentine’s Day dinner. ATQ is the Quebec Association of Transexuals. I went to the Christmas one with MFB and it was fun to meet new people and hang out with the fabulous Mimi who has been championing Trans rights for 26 years. And she does make the best cake ever. MFB decided to officially transition just before Christmas has managed to come out to dozens of people at his work (well done) but not his mom yet. This time, we were treated to a spaghetti dinner and all the tboys gravitated to our table. We had great conversations with goth gal and her best butch who is thinking about transitioning herself. They have been together for 4 years and I think it’s great that they are going through this process as a couple.

Then it was on to the bi-monthly get together with the kinky girls. Since it was MFB’s birthday all the girls took turns spanking him (and I held him down!). There was another FTM there, close longtime friend of someone in the group, and he and MFB hit it off REALLY well and MFB was all excited about having his first gay sex LOL There was only 11 of us but retro girl from Ottawa was there and it turns out the vintage cashmere “Jackie” coat I just sent her fits like a glove. I was kind of tired so I layed low.

I had spent the whole week at home in total silence, either working, writing or doing complicated crafty things (and mitigating the ex-boyfriend shituation) so Saturday was quite different from what I am used to. I got so much stuff done last week that tonight I will simply catch up on the new season of Big Brother. I wonder, is matching people who have the same personality a good idea? I don’t think so, I don’t even match my salt and pepper shakers.

King Size is taking over Meow Mix again with a kick-ass show in a few weeks! Here’s the announce:

King blings, fag hags, and dyke tykes alike you will be pleased to learn that King Size will once again be featured during February’s Meow Mix!!! As it’s the season of LOVE, our all-new show is called Self Love! Witness the unveiling of our handsome new kings, and other titilating surprises. Mark your calendars now…more info at a later date.

Self Love (Meow Mix)
Saturday, February 9th
Sala Rossa
4848 St. Laurent
Montreal
$10