Sex is FREE!

The “sit down chat” is a tool I use to get to know someone. It is a short meeting with a set ending time (because I always have a meeting after.) I am usually the one who initiates the chat and sets the rules.

This is contrary to modern courtship rules. Customs dictates that a man should invite a lady to a nice dinner as a first date. I don’t care to “date”. A date involves spending 2-3 holes hours with someone who just might be a complete bore. For a first meeting, a short chat is sufficient.

So I mentioned in a previous post that I was going to have a sit down chat with my #1 crush. I made a quip that if he wanted to pay me cash for my services there was a coffee fee. He happily invited me for coffee and during a confirmation call turned that into dinner (a very early dinner because I still had my thing to get to afterwards!)

Now here’s the thing. Obviously, I think this guy is awesome and therefore I know it shows in my attitude towards him. Now, he, on the other hand, doesn’t know who I am besides a friend of a friend and a business contact. So I was prepared for this to be somewhat awkward (for him!)

The meeting was delightful and what struck me as most interesting is how he is EXACTLY the way I figured him to be. What is most strange is that I had planned on making a joke about the hidden letter in his name but instead just asked him what it stood for. He made the exact same joke. Makes sense, we are the same age which means or comedic approach to certain things are similar.

He is English Canadian so it can be expected that he would have an encyclopedic knowledge of Kids In The Hall. I too was devouring them with the same interest but since I am French Canadian, people tend to think I will not know anything about anglo culture. Getting who I am is a bit more complicated. I am this unique gizmo that can provide really random entertainment but my user interface can only be figured out by bright and creative people.

Obviously there is no reason for us to sit down like this on a regular basis so I just enjoyed the moment.

He inspires weird sketches in my head but not in his usual character. It is his ability to appear serious that inspires me more. I see a time in the future where we collaborate on something funny but at this time I see no path to it. Perhaps it is because he is the one who will initiate the collaboration and I have no control over that.

So I move on with my busy and crazy life. In fact the day after my sit down chat with my #1 crush I spent 8-9 hours in a writing meeting with Yoshi to discuss topics for MilfandHoney.net.

I was discussing safe sex with my best friend recently and he had the best thing to say about it: “Kids think it’s safe sex because there’s no weapons involved!”

That made me laugh so much!

Also recently I asked my lover “Aren’t you ever worried that I will give you some disease?” and he replied the he knew I would never do that to him.

Now if that answer came from someone else I would have thought it was an idiotic answer. I’ll get to that later. My lover knows that I have a wide knowledge of what constitutes safe versus risky behavior so he has decided to trust me on the matter. I really don’t have as much sex as I could have and even then it’s often BDSM play oriented and quite safe. I still consider that if I ever gave him a disease it would be catastrophic. I am VERY protective of both my lovers and have this complex firewall system that I use to make sure I don’t put them at risk.

But back to the “I’m sure you would never do that to me” statement. Now the thing with STIs is that most people pass them on inadvertently. Most people get them because they haven’t really read up on what constitutes risky behavior and what is truly safe. I read the descriptions of sexual encounters of friends who THINK they are being sexually safe and notice things that are big no-nos! People under 25 are strangely uneducated about STDs/STIs yet they are supposed to be the generation with the most access to information.

Part of staying safe involves not fucking people you don’t know. For me that is a huge factor in staying safe. I just don’t care anymore to have sex with someone I just met. I choose intimate partners for the long run, not the fling factor. First time is amusing but 10th time is much better so why waste my time.

I am 37 and have yet to have a STI/STD. At the rate I am going I will probably never get one yet I have had sex with more people than I can count and don’t see how carving my headboard would be of any significance at this point. I am not Gene Simmons!

I recently felt kind of dick-ish for burning my boyfriend at the stake for sleeping around. Well mostly I felt bad for declaring to the world that I didn’t want to sharing cooties. You have to understand that if he wanders off with anyone without discussing it beforehand it puts me and my lovers at risk. Turn out I dodged a huge bullet by taking swift action right away. Now I am breathing a sigh of relief and I am pretty proud of myself (pat myself on the back.) I cannot emphasize how much of a catastrophe it would be if I ever passed on an infection, however benign to my lovers. Not even a cold… that would be unacceptable!

I asked my ex to do some research on The Corey (as well as catch up on BB8) so he could do a follow-up on the letter (from a former Corey point of view.) I think he misunderstood me a bit and at first thought I wanted him to tell the world how I was so wonderful for fixing him. I already have plenty of long written letters, emails and notes written by him specifically thanking me for doing key things to help him and I am not ever throwing them away. I am kind of his Reform School Mistress in a sense and I have kept private 99% of his process over the past few years.

What I have long wanted him to do is own his story. He is ashamed of what happened to him and how he let someone else influence him badly into a downward spiral that could have ended in un-fixable mistakes. But there is no shame in being a teenager and being impressionable. There is no shame in telling the world specifically how things went wrong and what happened along the way. I was a troubled teenager and left home when I was barely 17 as well but that was a really long time ago. His story is fresh and relevant to teenagers who are not likely to judge him so much as recognize their own experiences and WHO in their surrounding poses the greatest danger to them.

The reason why I do not let go of my ex is that everything he does affect two other people. I have been “training” him for almost 2 years to be the primary care taker of two people who REALLY need him. His mother who has a pattern of depression, sickness, helplessness and homelessness (a problem shared by more than 25% of parents.) Even more important he MUST raise his younger brother who is now 13 years old and is entering into the void of teenagedom where everything can go abso-fucking-lutely wrong. I am not talking here about being the man and paying for everything which is some men’s idea of doing ‘enough’ for their family. I am talking more about emotional support, leadership and unconditional love. There is not enough money in the world to buy those things for someone else.

While my ex has had the pleasure of re-building a relationship with his dad over the past year, his little brother has never known his own dad. Obviously, I could snap my fingers and have that guy (who is only 33) found and brought to me tomorrow but if it does not serve a purpose and is not the right time then it is useless. That would be more of a 3-6 month project to vet the dad and assess whether he could be a plus or minus in his child’s life and educate a 13 year old to make the decision for himself as well. That may seem cruel but I sincerely feel that some parents bring nothing to the table and if they abandon their child in infancy or even later they better work damn hard to get the respect and access back. No child owes his parents respect of they have abandoned him or abused them just because they are related by blood. If my ex and I decide that this is a worthwhile project to take on, I will definitely touch on it here.

My ex thinks that I did everything for him but I really didn’t. I made a huge effort not to!!! I simply created an environment for him to do the work himself over and over again. The rest is easy, it’s just being me and living in my non-cahotic, no-drama life with my own awesome well behaved co-parented child. I do not want to police his mom or his little brother and I would rather they give my ex the credit and respect for doing the day-to-day. I was only the one who provided the daily love, hugs and cuddles at the end of a frustrating day. I have gone over my ex’s head to make hard decisions but they were only in times of crisis. I can see clearly in the future and have found that acting quickly and decisively can make a huge difference.

We had a brainstorming session which is turning into a long list of teen issues that are either close to my experience or his. Often they are topics which have affected both of us. 16 years separate our teen stories and so much has changed. I really miss the time when I did not have access to technology that could blow all my teenage stupidity out of proportion. I think that perhaps I made the same mistakes along the way the difference is that I was a girl and he is a guy.

The whole difference in this process is that I am not his mom. I have no specific rules (other than age-appropriateness) and have found that I have a knack for hacking teenage boys (Teenagers are between 13-25 and, quite sadly, getting older every year.) As long as there is no underlying mental illness (psychosis, scociopathy, etc.) I can probably do something good. I did not invent myself a raiser of boys, I have had the pleasure of raising other people’s boys through my life, as a nanny. It was totally random that I got to raise 7 boys and only 1 girl between the ages of 4 months and 10. I recently looked up most of my boys (through their great parents) and they were so proud to tell me how they have become awesome teenagers and young adults (I was only there 1-2 years along the way but made sure to protect these precious treasures.) I have yet to getthe official news on the one who had very cold and dismissive self-involved doctors for parents (these people creeped me out) and I resist the urge to Facebook stalk him I so want to know how he grew up in an environment where money was never an object but time was too precious to spend on menial tasks like the day-to-day raising children. “The Nanny Diaries” made me cry from beginning to end.

But family circumstances and money aside, most teenage boys go awry because of the bad influence of others whether it’s a parent, sibling, supposed friend or unrelated adult in a position of power and influence. With every transgression develops a feeling of powerlessness and that is a huge burden to bear for a teenager.

There is no such thing as “All your dreams are dead” however dire your life seems when you are young.

If history serves us right, next week we’ll get a Beauty & The Geek reunion show. Again this year I did not write much about the season because I wound up watching episodes days if not weeks later. Based on my interaction with geeks from years past, I know they like intelligent discourse on how outsiders perceive them so here I go, praisin’ some and dissin’ some.

I can only imagine how watching BATG can be cathartic for some beauties or geeks on the other side of the TV. This year’s most cathartic moment was watching Amber & Tommy. Amber appears to be a waste of space but she is very attractive physically. So for me watching someone so gorgeous work so hard for cock was really entertaining! Sure it sounds like I am dissing Amber but I am sure she will find herself a rich husband who will appreciate how decorative she can be.

I was truly rooting for Matt and Leticia to win it all.

Congrats to Tommy and Amanda for winning, they worked well together. I hope Tommy watched the show and did not let Amber spend all his money. She was very specific about using Tommy to everyone, except Tommy. I encourage him to tap that if “dating a supermodel” is what he HAS to do. Hey, I’d totally go on a date with Marilyn Manson but be careful what you wish for.

My word of advice to the Tommies of the world:

Hookers charge a fixed price by the hour for a specific service
Gold diggers on the other end, never tell you how much it’s gonna cost or if you’ll even get anything for the pleasure of giving them “gifts”.
Cuddles and kisses from sweethearts who like you for your choice of sweater vests are absolutely free!

This year’s sweetest and most awesome Beauty and The Geek Moment is pictured below.

Leticia returns after winning the plumbing challenge by a landslide. Matt hugs and congratulates her. He tells Leticia he will fix her something. She says he doesn’t have to. He firmly replies: “No, you’re getting something!” That nearly gave me an orgasm!

In one short moment, Matt Carter announced to the world that he is a keeper!

I already chimed in on Jim, the yummiest one. In my opinion he was the most under-explored geek of the season. I think that perhaps he may be too shy to let anyone explore him LOL

I re-opened the commenting. Please comment below instead of sending them by e-mail.

Now I try to get into Big Brother Australia. The cast is superbly odd !

Detail’s Blog takes on Crazy Chicks. Yes, guys do like crazy girls and I don’t say that because I am crazy but because I like to observe.

There is no bigger heartbreak than to invest months of “getting-to-know-you” time into the most jaw-dropping sexy geeky perfect guy ever and watch the crazy girl waltz in, fuck him and talk her way into his apartment within a month. And then it’s heartbreaking again when you hear the smidge of regret in his voice a week later. Then it’s even more heartbreaking to hear her give me this advice: “Well if you like them you better move in and fuck them else you’ll be stuck in the friend zone forever!” Next time I am in her presence I will bring ear plugs because she always manages to say things that are deeply insulting to me. I have given up on him because according to BF#1 the chances of him breaking up with her are slim because he is the kind of guy who is loyal and always wants to do the right thing. (In poly-world I could aspire to being GF#2 but since GF#1 values spontaneous fucking around and devalues his preference for <gesticular quoting>relationships</gesticular quoting>, that would just make my head explode.)

Sigh…

It’s not like this has never happened before. In 1991, I was on the verge of getting back together with my high school sweetheart but the girl he had recently dated threatened to kill herself. Heck, I can’t compete with that kind of crazy! I always bow out of those challenges, turn around and walk away briskly.

I take a very long time to get to know a guy just for that reason. I cannot afford to be with someone who is weak in the presence of a crazy girl but to a certain extent, all guys are. More on that later.

Right now I have my sight set on a guy I totally fell for at first sight over 18 months ago. I have never made a move on him but I observe from afar and read between the lines of his Facebook statuses. Nope, none of them contain any secret messages to me unless of course he mentions me by name LOL I’ve never felt that I had to make a move on him because I know I will run into him again. It would help though if I went to see his shows instead of going to bed at 8pm on Saturday night! Alright, I have missed all the events I am supposed to run into him! He is a fuckin’ Rock star with fans galore but comes off as reserved and not at all promiscuous. I don’t think he has any idea how awesome I think he is and even if he did, he would lump my interest in with the adulation that he gets from the hundreds of suicide girls (and gay men) who send him Xs and Os everyday. Through my patience and attention to his career I have found myself working with the Rock star in him. Though I must admit when I have to deal with the Rock star I filter it out and I observe the traditional small town Catholic boy raised with military precision. I think that represents 75% of who he is but I have to admit that I admire him for breaking so far out of that mold and making himself into an extravagant celebrity. I know I am making assumptions based on what he does, says or writes but consider that what a man does speaks volumes about his character… It is 1000% more indicative of who he is compared to let’s say… what he might say about himself on a first date!

The only reservation I would have about being with him is that he would not be my first famous or incredibly popular acolyte and it’s really hard to get quiet time with someone like that. There is always someone who calls, interrupts our conversations, stops them at street corners or starts screaming in the near vicinity of my ears (ouch!) Through all of this I know that there is 99% chance that one of the many, many, many profusely tattooed, pierced and pink-haired extravagant beauties he sees everyday will come in and swoop him off his feet before I even get to our first face-to-face sit down chat. I expect that chat to happen in the near future but that will probably be too late. For that I am not getting my hopes up.

You know, the last time I was so incredibly enamored with a boy, I found out that he had a secret crush on me… 6 years later! I have had countless long-term relationships based on an early connection like this hence why I am like “Well if it’s meant to be it’s meant to be” about it. I like to celebrate knowing somebody who is worth getting all excited about. I only meet one crush-worthy person each year, I better make the most of it! These are people I instantly absolutely adore and none of them (in 20 years) have ever turned out to be assholes so I must be a good judge of character.

Let’s go back 4 years.

- 2004: My Scottish Boy (BF #2) I love him so!
- 2005: Boyfriend #3 (now-ex) AND the girl-friend that is becoming the boy-friend
- 2006: The blow-job worthy sys admin
- 2007: The subject of most of this entry who’s nickname will either become “My Sweetheart” or “That Guy who Thinks I’m His Crazy Stalker”. Time will tell.

(Before 2004 I was in two back-to-back long term monogamous relationships lasting almost 12 years.)

I am very patient and my patience has served me right over the years. I have two partners who are secure and I trust that they will not put their life (or mine) in danger because of some crazy bitch. Okay perhaps I am editing the news here… One of them was temporarily distracted by a self-serving bitch on the rebound and bent on revenge but he still maintains she is not a bitch. She broke his heart and dumped him for the first guy that came along and luckily she is now locked away in marriage and into the dream-house her husband can’t really afford. I had correctly calculated that it would cost me about 3 months of time away from my sweetie (kudos on me telling my girlfriend how it would go down and being right) But I also lost another 6 months because he was sorry and hiding in shame. (If you read this sweetie I hope you know that I will never interfere, I trust that you can learn to protect yourself and that the next one will be “The One”. I am more worried about you when you go on your crazy extreme sports trips in the middle of nowhere and I pray that nobody dies on this one!!!)

After 4 years of thinking about who I am today and what I want out of life I am open to having a primary partner. That is someone I live with and love through encouragement, kinky sex and good cooking. Even though I am far away from being financially secure, I already have the house in the suburbs and the most fantastic daughter (as voted on by most other parents in a 4 mile radius!) My biological clock is not ticking even though I wish I could be a doting auntie to my two (soon to be three) nieces in Quebec City. I am not looking for some guy to complete me or take me shopping. The only consideration I have is for character and the other things I think all men should strive to accomplish (Yummyness, blow-job worthyness and mad skillz.) I am simply looking for someone who loves me, accept me the way I am and encourage me in my odd complicated pass-times.

Part of the reason I will not make the first move is because I want to be with someone who really wants to be with me and will make an effort. But as I wrote in my last post: He must be well-informed as to what he is getting into. My #1 crush knows me professionally now. As far as I am concerned, I am still in the “doesn’t know I exist” category.

Why am I complex? I am 75% Martha Stewart, 25% Nina Hartley and overjoyed when I encounter a guy who is astute enough and confident enough to call me on it.

Unfortunately a lot of guys my age are into young crazy girls who brings excitement and chaos into their boring life. The Internet appears to be how they find tons of those if I judge from the online dating landscape. Yet most will admit (and I do ask!) that they know they are shopping at Bitches’R'Us. There they find a semblance of excitement and lots of grief and walk away still hungry. But these guys cannot take the non-crazy that I bring to the table. I don’t do crazy things “in the name of love” and that comes of as cold to a guy who needs validation.

Heck, I am not immune to suicide boys myself. I cannot tell you how many times I have told The Paper Boy that I fear my friends and lovers will discredit me for years for sticking with him through all the grief he put me through. Our relationship is the most drama-filled 18 months I have ever had. A lot of it is not directly his fault though, it was a few people around him who stir the pot and get on my last nerve with their drama. The silver lining to it is that I appear to have set him straight and he is profusely thankful for it. I am being unfair by lumping an immature teenage boy with possibly insane crazy girls (who are adults.)

I do not admire a guy who lets a girl walk all over him. Those things include not letting him see his friends alone (removing the support group), dictate how he spends his money (financial control), yell hysterically over everything (make him think he has done something wrong and must apologize again) and worse yet, fake pregnancies and break all his shit.

The only way to redeem yourself in my eyes after that is to learn from it and become crazy-bitch-fortified.

I just found out that this yummy hottie I have been chatting with online for 8 months is Lebanese. I just about never chat online with random guys off the Internet. He is the only guy in my MSN who is not a friend, family member or colleague. A is 25 and trying to make his case to be my boyfriend. I find that amusing and charming. So he’s definitely younger than what I want and I have mentioned it many times over. He also knows that I already have two lovers that I adore.

Yesterday he wanted to go out and be spontaneous. I didn’t. I thought it was the most adorable thing though… he fantasizes about doing something spontaneous! Spontaneous makes the heart rate rise for sure. I think he just wants to have spontaneous sex. Just a few weeks ago I was reminiscing with my lover about a spontaneous encounter in a men’s restroom that could have ended in a very public humiliation… for him. Ranks up there as the most outrageous/stupid/dangerous thing I have ever done. But is was fun, mainly because it was in a very nice clean and posh men’s restroom!

So back to A. You know there is something quite alluring about those Lebanese boys. They are Arabic but never overbearing because they are good Catholic boys. I have been this close but have never sunk my teeth into one. Sigh…

The first one, I befriended in college. He was tall, had model features and talked with an accent. He fucked my roommate. I was the only one who knew he was gay. We were in a small Catholic college run by nuns, it was 1988 and guys didn’t wear their GAY like they do today. He was always very lovey-dovey with me and all the girls hated me for it. They never really bought that we were not an item. OMG maybe I was his beard LOL

Second one I worked with. I spotted him in the temp pool and immediately hired him. He is incredibly talented, driven and has stellar work ethics. He was only 21. We worked well together, we worked A LOT. Once, after work, at 2am, he asked me out and I was all like “are you fuckin’ crazy I’m going to bed!” Months later, I did take him out to the movies. We saw “A Dirty Shame”. Yeah… this movie sparks some great conversations! It was a great evening.

Now there’s this 25 year-old engineering student hottie with the soulful eyes just pushing his wares on me… I’ve had plenty of Mediterranean boys but it never sticks. They are usually un-inked, un-pierced and un-cut. I must admit this is incredibly exotic for a small-town French Canadian girl like me but I know we don’t mesh. Probably a cultural thing. From what I can tell A is a very good Catholic boy. I know that the better a boy he is, the more he is dying to do some crazy exciting things. I know I can give him that because I operate in an environment where the sky is the limit. I can make anything happen and each experience is planned to the last detail to leave no scars, consequences or drama. It only seems spontaneous to the guy because in my head I considered every detail long ago.

So on the face of it I should say “No thank you!” but here’s the thing.

Guys who are in highly technical and demanding programs are under-fucked (Okay, so every young guy feels sadly under-fucked but I know whether they really are or not!) “A” deserves some fun!

I still think he lacks all the info to make a decision about associating with me. He has no idea about the kind of parties I take my boys to. He would be very surprised at the lustful attention he would get from my girlfriends (I guess now the word is out that I share my toys)

His considerations for wanting to be with me are completely different than my considerations for being with him. He’s all like: “M.I.L.F., Kewl!” and that’s about it!

If I could picture a perfect date with A we would be smoking shisha in the back of an over crowded Gitane Cafe on Saint-Denis talking about life and maybe even making some sexy plans.

I don’t want to over extend myself though. I just love lusting after a guy. It is something I have only allowed myself to do recently. I have had crushes on guys but I tend to think about guys in a very non-sexual and intellectual way.

But in any case I have to be careful.

I am the Red Pill.

I saw Orlando when I was 21. I highly recommend this movie to everyone and want to see it again soon. I have been intrigued with Tilda Swinton since then. She is very mysterious, beautiful and regal looking. I like it when I know little about actors, it makes them more believable with each role.

Recently the press has been all over Tilda for taking her lover to the Oscars. People speculate about her family arrangements as if they understand it. They don’t. I do not think that her life is much different from that of other folks who are a bit more evolved and can see beyond the traditional rules of marriage. I think people who can manage family and love beyond the 1+1 ratio should be praised. If they do it openly, they should be praised even more! Having a non-traditional family situation is hard work!

Tygrbabe attracted my attention to this article on Polyamory in Wired Magazine. Everyone should learn about polyamory and discuss it with their friends or lovers. It’s not so much a sex issue as it is one of friendship, relationship, honesty and love. It doesn’t matter if you consider yourself poly or mono, the process will invariably trigger some interesting conversations or arguments about how each thinks adults should relate to each other.

Here’s another idea: Let’s have a cooperative reality show (Survivor style but in comfortable digs) where one of the teams is made up of poly people and the other one has only swingers (two very different categories of lovers most often lumped in together.) Now lets see how they interact within their own team and with the other. That would be just too interesting.

I introduced him to her. She is great and funny and quirky like most of my other friends. We had a quasi-threesome, about a year ago. She writes a personal journal, we see each other at many sex workshops and parties. It seems I know so much about her. It’s nice to know open and out people who embrace transparency. I am so not there yet, so I admire this about her. Recently she has been “feeling lonely” and writing about it.

I figured he was in her radar and/or the other way around. Whatever goes for me is fine for him too. When you introduce YOUR lover to another person you run the risk of losing them. I am not bisexual so it’s not like I go around organizing threesomes for the sex. So in introducing him to two of my girlfriends I felt I gave him a gift that he might appreciate. I worry more about bringing a guy into my friendship than bringing a girl into my relationship to be honest with you. He may go on and on about how I am the most awesome thing in the world (sexually) but he has only ever been with me. Big fucking deal to be number one out of… well one.

I didn’t seek this poly lifestyle out, I just recently found out there was a word to describe who I am. I am not emulating anyone I know who is poly. I don’t go to poly events. I discuss and draw from my own experience and they tend to dictate my expectations. This lifestyle is something I started fantasizing about when I was about 12. The lifestyle worked for me when I was round twenty and now fifteen years later. I have to tell people I am involved with more than 1 guy sometimes, IN PERSON. However, none of my online profiles have relationship status. I am neither single nor taken and choose mates from a short list of people I have known for years (minimum 6 months.) I knew he existed for 6 months but wasn’t well acquainted with him when we started dating. My boyfriends tend to excuse each other when issues arise but it was different with this one. He got in the easy way, used up my last bit of nerves and the others resent him for it. None know yet…
Read the rest of this entry »

A rant intended to stir shit or raise awareness depending on which side of the coin you’re on.

Edited: I have removed some parts of this text to make it more to the point. I will bring back the rest in different expanded articles.

I’m on Facebook. I love it! It lets me communicate with people I know and care about. Teens seems to think it’s a dating site. It sure seems like today’s teens select each other based on T&A/A&D (Tits and Ass / Abs and Dick.) I have been doing research on various Facebook apps to build my own. I resisted adding novelty and hookup-type applications until I was invited to install “Are You Interested?” (from SNAP Interactive). It is a badly built, ugly and annoying application. There are three ads per page so you know right there it is purely profit driven.

I wondered what would happen if I click ‘YES’ on someone in “Are You Interested?“. I picked the guy who was at a theme park with his daughter and the fireman. There were not that many pictures in my age range, most were greasy looking guys who gave me the creeps. I could click YES on all the pictures of men who look like they are dads (a desirable accomplishment) but they are probably not single. Again, waste of time. When the fireman friended me I noticed that he (who is in a relationship and just had a really cute baby) likes to add all the “Tell me I’m desirable, I absolutely must know now!” applications that are available on Facebook. I am itching to ask him why he needs the validation, he is already a cute guy in a fireman outfit, with a girlfriend and a really cute baby. In the list of awesome things worth having that you couldn’t possibly buy with money, those are lot of check marks! If I was his girlfriend I would wonder about his capacity to survive the first 6-12 months of being set aside for the needs of the new baby.

My point…

I noticed that guys interested in me, based on my profile picture of a toad, were all 18 years old and this is how I noticed, to my horror, that there is a search line for 13-17 year olds in “Are You Interested?” This is retarded! And not because of the aforementioned bad idea of choosing mates based on physical characteristics.

Here’s how Facebook works. You can join Facebook if you are in High School (13+ years). You can friend you classmates, buddies and family. They are the only ones who can see your profile. The dumb things you post about yourself after that are supposed to remain somewhat private until you piss someone off and they re-post your private texts and photos in public forums.

However “Are You Interested?” kinda violates that by publishing a picture of your “attention needing” self with your name and city.

Here’s a random teenager. I picked him because he is the only one I found who’s trail does not lead to an exact location within 5 minutes. Unfortunately, you can easily find where most other “Are You Interested?” users between the age of 13-17 are RIGHT NOW.

(Name has been changed, duh!)

His name is Jean-Something, he is 14 and lives in Montreal. Kinda looks like he is 10 years old but let’s keep digging.

Fortunately for us Jean-Something is not such a common name so let’s find him in Facebook search.

There he is. It’s easy, same picture!

Great, now we know his full name is Jean-Something Lastname. Fortunately for Jean-Something he is only is the Montreal network and not associated with a high school. But would it really be hard to find out where he lives by triangulating info about all his friends? (Actually if I triangulate his friends I get the distinct impression this profile might be a fake teen profile created by someone who wants to approach teens but I don’t have time to find out for sure. We can talk about this kind of fraud later. There are about a million users, mostly 13-17 year olds who use this application and most will have a high school and class year listed under their name in Facebook search.)

As a parent, I feel for those who do not know what their kids are doing online. Are they posting videos of themselves dancing in their underwear or flashing their boobs on You Tube? Are they desperately seeking attention from strangers on My Space? Are they advertising their need for approval on Facebook? I feel that doing so is misguided, it is asking for attention from the WRONG people. Not all online kooks teenagers encounter are sexual predators, they are also confidence cons, scammers and thieves. All these shady folks need is a bit of info about you to work their magic.

So, what do you think? I also wrote a follow-up on this.

Sometimes the scheduling makes it so that I will see all my partners within 24-36 hours. It’s fun but tiring at the same time!

I was recently asked about why and how I am poly-amourous. I just am. I cannot remember ever being another way. When I was 12 years old I found a way to take some time for myself by fantasizing about an alternate life in which I was older. It was a way for me to fall asleep without thinking about my hopelessly dire teenage years. In this alternate life I cavorted with famous people and traveled the world. I eventually had three boyfriends, who were technically my husbands (we all wore identical Cartier rings made with 4 entangled bands.) This situation was very interesting to ponder. From how our relationship was presented to others. How time was spent together or apart. Issues of jealousy and envy. Thinking about these issues (it was pure entertainment at the time) probably shaped my current attitude about polyamory. I am very attached to my current partners and have been with them for years. However they are not poly themselves. When I say that people think I require them to be faithful which is silly. When boyfriend #3 started dating a girl I kept my distance. After I met her I simply stopped talking to him altogether. Turns out #3 is incredibly jealous and possessive. He puts restrictions on his girlfriend’s social life, reads her e-mail and then turns around and initiates sex with me. That is rather hypocritical and unattractive. So I simply stay away. Hetero-normative people in ‘monogamous’ relationships have such issues with jealousy, boundaries, respect and all the other stuff.

I finally decided to throw #4 out of my apartment. It wasn’t the first time I told him that I just couldn’t stand to have him around anymore. When I do that he immediately turns around to text or e-mail a random person to tell them he can’t stand me anymore and will be moving out. It’s the relationship version of “You can’t fire me cuz I quit!” I only asked him to move out. I didn’t insult or berate him. For me the separation of body is a way to end the constant friction of living with someone who is not doing what he should be doing, for me, his family and himself. He took his ring off and removed the relationship status from Facebook. I went away the next weekend and asked him to come back to take care of the cat, who was devastated to lose his well-trained valet. I came back from a trip to Ottawa to find the house clean, the fridge full and a sweet letter on my computer. Having him wait to be asked over or wait until I have time to go out with him is much better. Then hearing him go on and on about how lucky he is to get to spend time with me is nice too. I kind of ruined him anyway. It’s normal for me to share him with the girlfriends, take him to kinky sex parties and tell him all the secrets and facts of life that are unknown to people his age (20). We have a great sex life. Once the pains of living together is removed, our sex life can be even better.

I had forgotten how blissful it is to be alone. Now I can resume having friends over for dinner. I’m happy being single and telling everyone that I will spend my evenings cuddling with my cat watching CSI. I will not be accepting his re-relationship request on Facebook!

I am on the fence about dating someone new… Actually I don’t want to date anyone new. I don’t like new people, I only allow close to me those who are vetted by common friends or long-term acquaintances. On the waiting list are 3 guys I have known for 1-2 years. It’s fun to have a crush on someone. I only meet one crush-worthy person per year so I am just fine waiting or admiring from afar.

I have to go get ready for tonight. I am going to a BDSM party and my Misstress is going to play with me! I might tell you about it later.