Little did I know that when attending an evening of travel presentation at the local Yacht Club with Mr. P., I would meet Tas, a talented baker of perverted cakes. Tas, whose background is computer science and math, is even looking for ways to incorporate advanced features (animated parts) into his creations. Read the rest of this entry »

I have never really been interested in who pees in who’s food. Sincerely… But this season’s The Ultimate Fighter is so fascinating to me. I am already familiar with Rashad Evans and Quinton ‘Rampage’ Jackson for having seen their respective seasons of The Ultimate Fighter. This year it’s all about the Evans vs. Jackson dramarama with them bickering like teenagers all the time. But it’s all good because I listen carefully and watch with great interest what they do.

I believe we are simply what we do… Rampage is a manbaby. It’s relatively easy to be a manbaby, you just blurt out whatever comes to mind and overreact to everything that happens around you. And dude, you do not put chickens in a car in Las Vegas. I am not an animal activist but that is so useless and stupid.

Rashad, on the other hand, is a great coach and leader. Many people think that one is born a leader but leadership is an ability that is forged over time, often by being mentored by other great leaders. And you have to work really hard at a craft to deserve the attention of the best coaches and mentors out there, in any endeavor. It is a joy to watch Rashad and his assistant coaches work with the guys on his team (and get a bonus glimpse of Keith Jardine once in a while!)

I don’t believe for a second that the guys on Evans’ team are better than Rampage’s fighters. It is highly improbable that Rashad just happened to pick the best fighter and orchestrate the perfect matchups. It is pretty obvious that the coaching (mental and physical) is better. I was kind of appalled by Rampage’s ‘coaching’ style. I still don’t know what the deal is with Rampage. The first time around I was simply unimpressed by his ‘coaching’ style. It is obvious that he is slightly dim but that is not so much a detriment to him in his career. What is a detriment is that he is unable to connect on an emotional level with other guys. It grates on my nerves to hear him coach his fighters the same way he attempts to intimidate the competition. I mean you don’t tell a fighter to win because the other guy’s got titties… come on!

I love The Ultimate Fighter. It’s a total sausage fest. Plus all the guys have their own reason for being so fucking hot… except Wes Sims. He gets on my last nerve. I had no idea who Kimbo Slice was before this. I mean why would I troll Youtube looking for videos of guys who fight in their back yard?! I really like the guy. I hope he gets to fight again.

I was most intrigued by the episode in which Matt Mitrione fought Scott Junk. Men provide an enormous amount of physical cues about what is going on in their head. It is not in their habit to conveniently explain in exact terms what they are feeling or going through. While Matt seemed incredibly pissed off, even enraged during practice, however, he bounced his water bottle onto the counter in a very casual way. Compare this to Rampage who, after alternating between being frustrated and goofing around about losing, snapped and broke down a door, completely. Neither channeled their energy towards what was most important but Matt seems less “crazy” to me because he has a higher level of self-awareness than Rampage. I can deal with someone who is steaming mad and yelling, for whatever reason, even if it can be frightening. Wall-punchers are a waste of time and energy.

It seems I have developed a penchant for warriors in the past year. But I’ve discovered it has its challenges. There is a reason why men transform themselves into well honed fighting machines. It’s a coping mechanism. When I started watching TUF about a year ago I went through as many seasons as I could get my hands on. While I may have characterized it as porn in the past, it has become a treasure trove of research material. While I could indulge in a TV show made for men and by men, TUF is a little more raw and revealing. I have a partner who is a well honed killing machine clocking over three decades in various forms of martial Arts training, military training, and an immense ego to boot. When informed that he and I were an item, a mentor, and well-regarded community leader, told me: “He needs a strong woman to keep him in line!” Yes, he does!

Having served in peace time, I wrongly assumed my partner would be free of PTSD, something that A LOT of servicemen and women deal with everyday. But I was wrong. He has PTSD from growing up with a father who is a Vietnam War vet. Soon I will meet his family and understand a bit more what built my precious soldier and why all the men in his family are compelled to be on the front in Viet Nam and today, as I write this, for the third time in Iraq.

The first Ranger I ever dated, a Captain in the 82nd Airborne, was a mystery to me. It didn’t make sense to me that someone would need to sleep with a loaded gun in the bedside drawer. It took me a long time to understand.

So who is my favorite!? If you care to know, Brendan Schaub gets some points. He will likely win the show and he is perhaps the most gorgeous guy I have ever seen in my life! However, I cannot figure out much about his personality. Justin Wren is the bomb and he seems so nice and easy to get along with. He’d make a fine beard cuddle buddy. But of course, I have this engineer fetish so my favorite fighter is Abe Wagner. I am sad that, because he didn’t win his fight, there was sparse footage of him for most of the season. (Yes, I also have a thing for guys who have no tattoos or piercing.)

It occurs to me that there is not enough interviews during this show! So my fantasy job would be to interview the guys from The Ultimate Fighter about anything BUT fighting. I mean other than the competition for a UFC contract, these are regular guys. Really, really, really hot regular guys! I have a million questions to ask them!

I think that this would be very popular with the growing number of women who enjoy The Ultimate Fighter.

I enjoyed a great weekend at Floating World 09, met interesting people and continued to observe life on the fringe. Coming back, I thought I would write about all the fun I had there and some really awesome developments in my life but this whole big article will be about a tiny sliver.

I have been watching a bit of Rock of Love, Daisy of Love and Charm School recently. I want to understand the under culture of decorative people (espescially women) and try to figure out their appeal to men. As I watch the antics, cat fights, terrible language and general lack of class… I don’t see it.

We don’t have this culture here in Canada. Sure Montreal has it’s slew of prostitutes, strippers and porn stars but it’s easy to understand who they are and what they accomplish for a living. In the U.S. it’s different. Tila Tequila proved that one can become a celebrity without doing much more than being decorative and milking it for all it’s worth. In Tila’s case, her claim to fame was having the most friends on MySpace. But she wasn’t the first girl famous for being famous, just the first to emerge from Web 2.0 which makes it easy for girls who do not have the technical Savvy of a Cindy Margolis or Danni Ashe to post pictures of themselves and quickly garner thousands of pervy fans. Long before the Internet, there was Carmen Electra, Tawny Kitaen, Apollonia Kotero and others who basically stuck around forever after being in one movie or music video. Through the rise and fall of Anna Nicole Smith, I have watched various media outfits like Entertainment Tonight and E! take advantage of her ‘sex’-appeal for ratings. Throughout and right up until her death, ANS seemed oblivious to the fact that her life was a modern-day freak show.

Nevertheless, there seems to be hundreds of self-made Myspace models who are breaking out as semi-professionals by appearing on a variety of reality shows turning their Online popularity into fancy confined living, free drinks and a chance to open-mouth kiss an ugly Rock Star on national television (ewww!.) I am trying really hard to think of someone who might have broken through the stampede of heavily tattooed and wigged chicks in stripper heels to emerge as an inspiration for the rest of us. I give up…

Of all the decorative people in Hollywood, Megan Hauserman is probably one of the most active models appearing on countless reality shows. I have always liked Megan since I first saw her on one of my favorite shows Beauty and The Geek (which she won) a few years back. However, Megan seems to have acquired a few monkeys on her back and made some questionable business decisions. When watching the preview first episode of Megan Wants a Millionaire six weeks ago, it became obvious to me that VH1 is punking Megan by introducing her to 14 rather unattractive men who just happen to be millionaires. It would have been great to see if, despite this, Megan would find a gem. However, the one contestant who was somewhat palatable was recently found dead following an apparent suicide after being chased down by the police and accused of killing his quickie Vegas bride and stuffing her dismantled body in a suitcase. This unfortunate turn of events has forced VH1 to cancel Megan Wants a Millionaire… not that I would have watched the train wreck anyway.

So it goes without saying that I have always wondered about the secret life of decorative women who live in dramarama, err… Hollywood and get invited to every party at the Playboy mansion.

I had the pleasure of meeting such a person recently. After admitting that she had read everything I had ever written (elsewhere and under a different pseudonym LOL) and was intimidated at the thought of meeting me, she proceeded to tell me about herself so I would agree to let her spend time with MY man. This is rather amusing. Of course I did not object… Unless she was carrying a concealed weapon or was completely crazy.

So let’s call her Paisley for simplicity’s sake. She is quite nice and interesting and I took an immediate liking to her. However she also said her IQ was 183! When we spent time together I was more concerned with listening to her than making fun of her for being quite exceptional considering an IQ is usually measured on a scale capping at 165. Having M0j0D4ddy otherwise occupied with a girl allowed me to have important conversations with very important people and sleep at night!

While I am pretty sure Paisley really is a quasi-famous pole dancer, she also said she was an experienced model and would be in a few publications I am familiar with including Forbes.

For various reasons if Forbes actually puts her and other “women in the business” in a pictorial in their magazine it will change everything (I have already publicly riled against CNN, Time Magazine and Forbes for dousing their Web media counterpart with sex in order to get more eyes on their content.) But I am dubious as to the stories of this professionally decorative woman because she also said she would be in/on Perfect 10 and I was sure they were all about women who did not have implants!? But in all it was super interesting to spend time with her.

But then I started thinking…

Pretty women are rarely contradicted therefore they develop and very high opinion of their own intellect and personality. I also have this theory that being singled out as beautiful from early on in life will influence someone to put too much importance on outward appearance over intelligence or learned abilities. While I personally cannot help but be in awe of someone male or female who is naturally beautiful without any artifice, beauty in itself is no accomplishment to be proud of. However, it is the most important quality in U.S. culture. Beauty is also the last bastion of sexism. In media and entertainment, men are chosen based on competence and women often need to be both competent and beautiful to stand out. And if competence is not that important, as is the case for much of TV talking heads, beauty must win over brains as so many anchorwomen have that deer caught in the headlights look permanently plastered on their face.

My uncle, who is close to 80, lives in Florida and spends six weeks a year in Canada remarked on the difference in the quality of news anchors in Canada VS the U.S. this weekend. This also prompted a discussion on the importance of beauty over competence and the confusion between fame and infamy in the U.S. where someone can attain great fame simply by being controversial and stupid…

So back to my recent encounter with Paisley… Being set aside after a 48 hour fling, she has developed an interesting case of desperation and is coming off as the complete opposite of who she said she is. She is a ticking bomb… though going off would not serve her very well. I have watched as she has fallen madly in love with MY man and is trying desperately to worm her way into his life. For months I have been telling M0j0D4ddy that he is not very good at protecting his time which, coupled with his ability to get distracted by shiny things, will forever leave him without any feelings of accomplishing concrete things. Of course that is only a small glimpse into a bigger picture but this is a beautiful opportunity to watch him try to manage this woman in a way that is appropriate to the situation. Unfortunately, this is a reactive situation, yet again and very few good things come out of reactive situations. I much rather plan ahead… After all M0j0D4ddy’s life is a story I’ve already written.

In this case I correctly guessed that any new conquest who met me and got my approval would like me and then when things didn’t match her fantasy anymore, she would look to me for support, cliff notes, F.A.Q., etc. As she calls me to get support, I try to be a realist and tell it to her like it is. I sincerely would like us to be friends in the long run. Time will tell if she uses this information to walk away gracefully or create more drama and continue to act the opposite of how she said she would manage the situation. But throughout the week I have seen her use a few manipulative techniques that I do not approve of. Perhaps I will write about those eventually.

ANNA

The Garden of Earthly Delights by Hieronymus Bosch inspired Anna’s collection shown
in the last episode of The Fashion Show.

As a child I spent hours looking a this painting. We had a reproduction of this in three panels at home. Originally it seemed strange and pornographic. Today I find it quite entertaining and modern.

Can you spot the tit in the picture above?
How about the anal bead?

Click on the image and find the gerbil in a tube!

This painting delivers!

Anna’s collection was delightful.

It was not too matchy, in fact each piece could be declined into three garments and all of it is very sell-able. I loved her knit pieces which were very light and flowy espescially the one that incorporated a breastplate of long beads.

I loved the two dresses that were shown first.

But my favorite dress was the elephant print day dress…
It is sooo sexy secretary…

I want it!!!

While I think that all designers brought something great to the show,
Anna is the most obvious choice as her style and collection
is the most viable commercially.

There is little I have to say about Bullshit with Penn and Teller because it is usually informative, right on the money and entertaining. However, I do have something to say about their first show this season. They took on “The Big O” or the female orgasm and all those services that are supposed to help women achieve bigger and better orgasms.

This was perhaps the most poorly researched episode in seven seasons. Very little of the show was devoted to sex toys or sex tools as I tend to call them, most of which are crap for various reasons. Instead they focused a lot of air time on a few ’sex coaches’ who offer teaching on sexuality’s function and pleasure.

We need more devoted and skilled people to teach adults how to have an enjoyable sex life! Three of the most important aspect of our adult lives are money/credit, sex/relationship and raising children and those skills we still acquire by fucking up along the way.

I suck tremendously at managing my money, I was fortunate enough to practice raising other people’s children as a nanny before I had my own. However, when it comes to sex, it took me 15-20 years before I hit my stride. And to think I have been obsessed with the topic for 25 years! In the past 5 years I was lucky to have access to an expert on sex and threw myself into every adult sex class she and other experts gave, just for the fun of it. It helped!

A week doesn’t go by without one of my friends telling me I should teach classes on relationship 2.0 and advanced sex. I really like getting sex questions from my vanilla friends. I get more questionning about sex that I think I should be getting. It’s not as if there’s no info out there but it’s easier and more beneficial to ask a person because by definition, a sex question should have follow-ups. Sometimes friends ask curiosity questions about my sex life but most of the time they ask about bettering their own sex life. Our conversations will often circle around relationship building that allows for more and better sex.

Two months ago I spent 5 hours in a Toronto living room with ten 25-year-old women and I was scandalized by how little they knew about sexuality, sex tools and sex toys. I was a fly on the wall and I kept my kinky mouth shut while my friend Viktoria gave a wonderful presentation. As Toronto’s premier sex toy confidente she gave the girls information on the latest toys and which are toxic and which are safe and also answered a million questions. Each woman was then able to see her one-on-one and purchase whatever they wanted. It was fun and the shy-ness about asking questions decreased tremendously as the wine bottles emptied. I learned so many things… about women One of which is that young women are generally very uncomfortable about talking to their partners about the specifics of sex. And they do not negotiate or plan ahead. It would seem that there is stigma attached to being knowledgeable about, talking about or planning sex. After hanging out with other women sex geeks for years, this realization was quite sobering.

Being around people who are knowledgeable about sex and have a very positive non-judgmental attitude tends to lower sexual shame and increase sexual confidence. So I will re-iterate that we need more sex coaches in the world not less!!

Just as people have started reading my blog, I’ve wandered off tinkering with crafty things. While some of those things are a bit kinky, there is no success to report yet.

Witness this attempt at making cute nipple jewelry. Basically I want to create a basic shape in wire that has something going on atop the nipple and a place to put dangles. I find the current models a bit boring.

But so far. Nipple Jewelry = FAIL. Kinky word die earrings are going a bit better though. pictures to come.

I’ve been feeling super blue lately espescially with the developing situation in Iran. In my opinion Iran has the greatest disparity between the loveliness of its people and the darkness of its leaders. I sincerely believe that progress is inevitable and Iran doesn’t lack bright progressive people but my fears lie with the possibility of international meddling.

Mr. M. and I have been doing a bit of writing back and forth. He has a blog now and if he gets to writing in semi-public the truth he tells in private, it may become a must read. Since I’ve had the miss communication problems with him last year I’ve been working on creating greater communication flow between my partners and I (old and new.) Not that all interpersonal conflict in my life are my fault but I try to gain insight from ALL situations.

I should always strive to be a better communicator because I have many partners and I have limited time to spend with each one in person so I have to make it count. The quality of my daily communications with them by phone or in writing will make a huge difference in the quality of our relationship in the long run. I had been looking to attain a new level of honesty, directness, closeness with them but also to foster security in my partners regarding our respective relationships. The only tool I have for that is communication.

Because my goal is to have only one partner in an exclusive monogamous relationship, I have to be honest about it with my partners. Communicating about how our relationship may wind up having a time-limit is a bit strange. Though it’s not as daunting as discussing poly partner rank (or priority.) Right now, I do not have a primary poly partner. BelovedSchoolBoy was my ‘interim spouse’ for a while when we lived together but that was an unfair situation for him being 15-20 years younger than the spouse I want to be with. I have no idea if this wish will ever materialize. It may just be that my goal to enter into a TiH relationship is outdated or that a ‘husband-type’ would not care for my previous lifestyle or obsessive interest in alternate sexuality LOL. But I digress…

While I do not talk much with The Bearded DiCaprio even though he has been my lover for 5 years, I communicate quasi-daily with The General, M0j0D4ddy and Mr. P (All of which are over 40.) I also maintain the communication line open with BelovedSchoolBoy because even though we have been separated since December, I love hearing about how happy he is and how much he pro-actively rules his entourage like a successful little Kingdom. I also love how after we separated he continued to ask me for advice on many matters including how to approach and ‘land’ his adorable new girlfriend (with whom he now lives.) Then it dawned on me that I have raised him to be like the man I wish I could meet in my 35-45 y.o. age group. At 21, I think he will provide me with a lifetime of awe. I also truly enjoy the constant appreciation and thank yous for the last 3 years.

I grew up in a family where partners were not self-aware and were secretive in order to avoid conflict. Avoiding the matter or editing the news is a very bad strategy. Honest direct communication is so rare that when I hear it my heightened appreciation of the communicator outshines the content of the message! Recently, I have gotten many flowers from my lovers (and some friends) regarding the ‘quality of our relationship’ in regards to communication so I must be affecting things right.

I now live in a world where women fight for the sexual interest and attention of men (online and off) and horde it so that their man must not pay any attention to anyone else! While I may have had a foot in the eye candy market when I was 20 and hadn’t yet had my drastic breast reduction, I found that it didn’t provide me with access to very interesting men. Today, I do not even try to sell sex (be sexy) because as a 38 year-old woman, I would simply look like a clown next to a 20-year-old (I’ve watched the real Housewives of New Jersey!) I have also come to realize that most pretty women (even the ones who are naturally lovely) feel insecure about their looks and seem much less happy than the average. Also, women who are professionally decorative, are rarely role models and exhibit the worse behavior and lack of class (Hello Charm School!) Even if this can change over time, it will always be overshadowed by reality tv antics! Beauty is a rat race with no prize at the end. Most women do not know this because standards change and the race never ends.

However, in the contest of being smart, open, non judgmental and communicative, I can occupy a place that is more stable and permanent in the emotional space even with those who are easily distracted by the eye candy. Because I have been able to develop truly meaningful and loving fulfilling relationships based on these new communication efforts over the past six months, I have rethunk the narrow definition of ‘lover’. I hate it when people say ‘we are just friends’. As someone who has had true friends for 30 years and, in absence of having a spouse, puts friend before lover, I find that a bit insulting. It would seem to me that in a world where ‘friend’ has been diluted to mean ’someone I never talk to who is in my Facebook list’, we should have a new definition for ‘lover’ as well. So I have decided to consider someone my lover when they declare loving me and have spontaneously said that we shall be together ‘forever’ (…and then re-iterate it a few times just to make sure LOL) As long as this feeling is mutual and we do have a somewhat sensual relationship then ‘lover’ seems like an appropriate term. Too bad it sounds very sexual when said out loud. Even though I may use that term here, I will still refer to most people in my life as friends. Never ‘just’ friends or worse ‘fuck’ friends which are two terms that diminish the importance of the friend relationships in life.

I have been quite happy with most of my relationships as of late and feel very loved, secure and appreciated. That was never my goal but what a wonderful gift. On the other hand, I know one of my relationships is doomed to end soon but it has been on that path for a while. Right now, I have no craving for attention or even sex so I am hurting my sexual relationships by electing to stay home alone rather than go out. But I do say yes to going out when asked.

But I don’t want to go see too many movies… I strive for conversation and communication!

I would have to say that conversation with Mr. M. is crack cocaine. Though, NOW, I know that we will communicate briefly, his words or questions will open up a can of worms (and inspiration) then he will disappear unexplained leaving me with withdrawal anxiety. I have always been overwhelming and gauche in my struggle to gain access to him. I would love to be able to count on him for conversation even if it was scheduled or limited in time. (I sometimes schedule time-restricted conversations… seems weird but it works!)

I have multiple partners who put up with the fact that I am not exclusive nore very available (physically) because I provide them with rare difference, openness and acceptance. I put up with Mr. M. because he provides me with rare higher intelligence and dry wit or irony and also because his interest channels seem to be aligned with mine. Though sometimes his dumb typos will open up a door for unexpected hilarity such as the time he wrote that his girlfriend gave him a ‘dry mouth’ piece of artwork for his birthday. So I sassed him on how such artwork is the kind that you look at, bewildered, with your mouth open for a long time (thus inducing dry mouth.) I could also have pondered how it is the opposite of mouth watering artwork (which could be a still life of food or, as marketers would define it, graphics that are mostly orange.) So I was eventually accused of being corny while I was simply making fun on his attempt to (I suspect) write ‘dry mount’.

I have been developing a relationship with a Lady who seems fascinating to me. While she has been generous so far with giving me access to her (providing her personal number and inviting me to go stay with her) I am worried about being overwhelming. I was very forthcoming about my desire to serve her (in the BDSM sense) for the simple pleasure of personal access to her but it turns out I do not really have anything specific to offer that she needs (and that will be until I have the chance to cook for her.) I like having a ‘device’ to warrant regular communication with a Dom or Sub during the initial phase of getting to know each other because I have developed ‘access anxiety’.

I’m sure this is heightened by not wanting to experience the pain that I felt when Mr. M. and I hit it off very well and then NOT after only a short time. I had given him unrestricted access to me talking for hours into the night which I never do because I need my sleep to be able to manage an eight year old during the day. It is unfortunate that such an experience has made me scared of giving access or time again for the purpose of developing friendship or love.

I am currently watching ‘The Long Way Round’ with Uber Hottie Ewan McGregor. He sports a fabulous beard for most of his motorcycle trip around the world. Looks like Ewan is also a fan of Puppy Kisses! It seems like I don’t have much time to think about sex these days, it’s all garage sales organizing, dance recital and… kitten kisses :P. But next week I will see my Scotsmen and I promise myself to go out on TWO dates!

This video is awesome! An BTW Ewan, that dog is simply hungry and he’s begging you to throw him up some food LOL

Do you remember when porn had merit as an art form? When performers seemed sincere and situations, while a bit contrived, were fun and realistic. Do you remember when porn actors looked like you and me? When male actors were filmed above the waist? When performers were rather nice to each other and were not expected to perform a series of parlor tricks, most of which are unpleasant and unsafe? Probably not because that was a LONG time ago!

I started watching ‘porn’ on television in the late seventies. I wasn’t even a teenager back then but I began seeking out and watching ‘adult’ entertainment. I don’t mean porn per say just things that were made for a more mature crowd. It was kind of hard to find but I persisted. I remember when Playboy TV came on and, low and behold, guests were allowed to use the Fword in interviews on the station’s ‘Late Night’ show. I remember one of the guest in the late eighties, he used to pick up chicks off the street and film himself or another actor having sex in a very amateurish way. His name was Buttman a.k.a. John Stagliano. He gave us Gonzo, imported Rocco Siffredi and, unfortunately, a market for copycat Max Hardcore.

Sometimes my encyclopedic knowledge of porn kind of spills out in vanilla settings and causes a bit of an uncomfortable moment. The first time I saw Rocco Siffredi on screen, in Night Trip II (1990), I thought he was so hot that I mentioned it to my girlfriends at school the next day. My college girlfriends knew I was a bit ‘different’ because I submitted anonymous ‘confessions’ to our college papers and eventually came out to them… But they were not fans of porn.

While I started watching erotica at a very young age, I am glad that sex was not yet packaged as a product. A product so different from reality that it would have prevented or ruined my enjoyment of it. Sex in older films looked more sincere, more real. It was attainable! Sex in old porn looks like my own sex life! Yes, even the freaky threesome parts! Sex in current porn I could have but why?! And I am perfectly comfortable with explaining to a partner why I don’t care to have ‘porno’ sex.

I don’t think porn is demeaning to women in general. The oversexualization of everything else might be. But porn is porn and the performers are paid to act out unrealistic sexual encounters which are supposed to be male sexual fantasies. Based on my research they are more based on a system of one-upmanship than actual fantasies of your average guy. Porn is one of many industries where profit is king and people are used, abused and thrown away quickly. There are a few male porn stars who appear to be skilled sexual tops (one of which is Mark Ashley) but all in all men in porn seem to have sex AT a woman rather than with her. These nuances are not obvious to teenagers who start watching hardcore porn at a very early age today. I think that watching porn hurts a man’s enjoyment of sex, lowers his self-esteem and provides little usable skill. But, having had a few partners who have grown up with access to Internet porn in their teenage years, I cannot say that I have noticed ‘porn damage’ anymore in men in their 20s over men in their 30s through 50s. Porn hurts women by making men annoyingly insecure. It takes away their ability to enjoy regular women over twenty. Of all my male friends and lovers, those who do not watch porn much or at all report having and enjoying a normal sex life. They are generally more happy people.

However I do not think the male landscape has changed that much. I’ve always thought that only one guy in 20 is worth fucking so rather than fuck the next 100, I have decided to develop skills to spot a keeper and then… well keep him, at least for a while.

But back to the fake sex…

There are a few people in porn that I admire. They are the ones who take it up a notch or have a real insight into their work in the grander scale of things and are truly enjoyable to listen to and watch.

In 1982, Annie Sprinkle, already a frequent performer in x-rated loops, directed her first full-length movie. When I saw this recently I thought it was adorable and I have included the first few minutes of it. Dr. Annie Sprinkle has explored human sexuality for 30 years and is still active as a lifestyle educator today.

[...video removed...]

Why am I revisiting vintage erotica? Well, I have have been thinking of putting my observations of alternate human sexuality over the past 30 years on paper and… well in the meantime a sweet bit of iconic 70s erotica is trying to resurface. We are talking here about the most recognized franchise in erotica for the past 35 years… I don’t know if it is faith but it’s on my desk and I feel what Tom Cruise must have felt when he snagged Mission Impossible… Now I just need to write down my ideas and find me a Paula Wagner!!!

Link to video @ TheOnion

A while back I wrote on this blog that CJO is a bit like Mark Anthony. At the time it was because he had suggested we get together to shoot some slaves. This reminded me of one of the most obnoxious scenes in Rome (He has never watched Rome.) I figured he was saying this for the benefit of a certain slave who was within earshot. Personally I would rather not shoot at anyone. I’m not a sissy, I just think that the words ‘non lethal’ in the name of certain ammo is marketing bullshit. But give me a paint gun and I may change my mind; I’ll just make sure the sniper is on MY team!!!

When I started watching Rome in October, I thought that having a household like Atia and Servillia would be cool. Obviously, I have no use for decorative slaves but I could definitely use a chauffeur and a butler. Just once in a while. Everybody in this neighborhood seems to know that I am the thrifty single mom. I don’t even have a car when most others have 2.5 trucks and 1.25 cars. I noticed that having handsome guys appear out of nowhere to rake my yard and shovel my snow attracts some attention and questions. So if my daughter ever started a phrase with “Our butler…” it might trigger more questions than I care to answer…

Just like Mark Anthony, my sweetie is a very good warrior. As long as it supports his long term goals in some way, he will likely do anything I ask. I have missions lined up into 2010 for him and some are NOT easy! I’m courting a veteran Dom by being a total Domina and he LIKES it. Raising (elevating) Dominants is my shtick! I make sure regularly that it’s okay for me to hit him with the ‘to do’ stick harder and harder as the deadlines get closer. When both parties are sincere and fully into it, Dominance and submission are the exact same thing. I may joke about it but I see my management of his current engagements and his overall career change as ’service’ to him.

Because he KNOWS that my thing is to help him get what he wants he has been more open about a lot of things. I am considering him as a life partner so I want to know what he wants however lofty, capricious or eccentric it may be. It’s a test in itself because at his age he is supposed to know what he wants. One of the recurring themes that has come up is that he wants a household (with slaves.)

I’ve suspected this for a long time and I have nothing against the concept. I don’t think it looks the same in my head as it does in his though! I LOVE this kind of relationship talk! Using his logic of having slaves giving him more time to do the cool stuff he’d rather do (like gardening and sex.) I will gladly lay down a plan that includes him as my landscaping and sex slave!