Sex is FREE!

I preface this by saying that while I live in Canada, the decline of the U.S. empire affects me too.

On June 2nd, 2008 Jon Stewart welcomed former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan on what was, in my opinion, a landmark Daily Show. McClellan is plugging his book “What Happened“. The administration is bringing a lot of attention to the book as well by getting their panties in a bunch. Stewart put McClellan through the ringer in what was one of the most interesting interviews he has ever done. McClellan remained candid while being shushed a la Dr. Evil by Stewart. I don’t know if reading this book will enlighten me or just prompt me to say “Oh the Hell with it, I am powerless against evil giants, where’s my mindless entertainment?” I can say that I will be entertained for years as the underworld of the Bush administration is played out for the world to consume in the form of books and movies.

Over the past few decades we have seen publicly elected officials piss on people’s heads and tell them it is raining. It is affecting Americans in visible ways.

Let me rewind a bit over a decade.

I grew up during the Reagan years so I will skip the obvious Nixon stuff and get to the dinner theater I witnessed myself. During his presidency, Bill Clinton lied about having “sexual relations” with Monica Lewinsky. Turns out she performed oral sex on him and Clinton was arguing on semantics. Obviously, had Clinton just fessed up to it instead of making a statement that “oral sex” is not really sex, there would have been little to speculate about in the following weeks. Hey I’m not knocking oral sex, it’s just that IT IS real sex and it involves the same risks as regular sex (and to those who will reply “You can’t get pregnant from it!!!” I suggest you evaluate your sexual practices based on what you CAN get from it rather than what you CAN’T.) This campaign of disinformation trickled down to teens and recently, Slate revisited the normalization of oral sex (Slate, May 28, 2008) in a graphic statistic-filled article. In fact you can also thank the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal for making it acceptable for mainstream media to titillate viewers with descriptions of graphic sex.

So I guess we all grew up to learn that

• Friends lie; they must be immature.
• Parents lie; they must want to protect us.
• Teachers lie; they have no choice or they’ll get fired.
• Boss’ lie; they are just protecting the shareholder’s interest.
• Spouses lie; what they don’t tell us won’t hurt us.
• The President lies; he just knows what is best for us.

Who will we excuse for lying next?

In the past decade I have seen an interesting trend develop. While those who are older than me (40+) have come to accept a world dominated by corporate secrecy and back-room politics, those who are younger (30-) have come to embrace a world where transparency is a virtue through blogging and vlogging. However, it seems like both worlds exists in their own distinct bubbles. The Daily Show and the Colbert Report seem to have found a way to mix the two up. Unlike the mainstream media, which is now mostly talking about itself and patting itself on the back, the writers for The Daily Show and The Colbert Report have enough cultural memory to hit where it hurts the most with hilarious results.

Last year I explained to someone that theoretically, you could build a statistical model with every single piece of information about a topic (usually historical data) and have all known experts validate the info. Then the system would write the most likely true scenario and change it as new data is supplied and verified. A friend replied simply: “It would not work, there is no such thing as the truth!” Perhaps he did not understand my concept correctly because it DOES take for granted that there is no truth and only seeks to calculate how likely a statement is to be true. Perhaps a worldwide panel of historians could then decide how “thruthy” history should be and we can enjoy the fruit of such an effort.

The American people have been lied to so much they can’t really tell when someone is telling them the truth anymore. Take someone like Barack Obama who is obviously intelligent and sincere. His message is simple and clear yet people are still weary of him. Personally, I think that Bush lowered the bar so low that Barack Obama should be applying for a more prestigious job.

So let me put this in porno terms so you understand what I am trying to say here. In 1997, Obama was in England at a bachelor party in a bar. When the surprise stripper showed up he exited the party. (I heard this on BBC Radio so did this blogger.) So what we are seeing here is that even if nobody’s looking Barack Obama is unlikely to use the Oval Office as a setting for afternoon delight with someone other than his wife.

Yoshi (He’s TPB in previous posts) took some time to do a follow-up to my Open Letter to Corey Worthington Delaney (and it’s follow-up post.) See the bottom for an announcement.

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Hey Corey,

Let me introduce myself, I’m Yoshi, a 20 years old man and although I did not do what you did, I also did some pretty bad things in my life that I regret. I can relate to you, as people realised what I did and hated me for it. I’ve lost my best friend in the process. I wish to give you some advices on how to improve your own life, be really happy with it and how to get out of your current situation. I wish to help you have a second chance and live the life YOU want to live!

Before doing anything, I’m sure that by now, you realised your mistakes. The next step is now to admit your mistakes to everyone around you. A real man, with balls, will admit his mistakes and learn from them. You cannot move on before you do this. You have a chance to change and become a man, a person who leads by setting example. Don’t waste it!

Then, you will have to understand that you live in a society, which believes in helping each other out, in good and in evolution. You are only one(1) person out of over six billions people(+6,000,000,000) but yet, you are an unique person, who had his own beliefs, passions and goals in life. My goal is to tell you how to get there. However, as much as I can assist you by telling you how to get there, you and only you can make the move and realise all of this!

First of all, you need to work on your self-esteem. Believe in yourself, Corey the 17 years ago guy, not in the image that the medias created of you. Yes, you’ve made a terrible mistake and I understand that you are ashamed of it. You’ve got to realise that everyone makes mistakes in their life and what seperate losers from winners is how you face your mistakes. Be a man, acknowledge your mistakes, apologize to the concerned people that were hurted by your mistakes. Most importantly, learn from your mistakes and don’t repeat them! That requires guts, but the relief you get afterwards is priceless. Don’t let anyone tell you what to do, choose who to listen to. Associate yourself with people that share your goals or that you see can help you in a way. Respect those people!

2nd of all, you need to realise that some people want to help you out! Believe me, people know what it’s like to make mistakes and be ashamed. Everyone has been there at one or several points of their life and you will encounter people that will want to help you. Accept that help. Listen to the advice that they will offer to you, very carefully. An example of this is Bianca and Terry, in Big Brother Australia. They are human beings, just like you and are simply trying to give me an hand to help you stand up on your own feets again. There’s nothing wrong with doing things that people tell you to do. Unless they are telling you to do something stupid, in which case you need to call them on it. Also, girls are not evil, don’t be scared nor shy of them, they make great friends and I’ve found that having a girl point of view can be very useful sometimes! Remember to respect people, that they want to be treated just as well as you want to be treated.

3rd point, fix some goals for yourself and find your passions in your life, yet, live day to day, in the present moment. That is, fix some goals YOU want to acheive, in the next month, in the next 6 months and in the next 3 years. Focus and work hard on those goals. Tell people about them, it will help you remember and focus on them. When you reach them, be proud, tell your real friends and celebrate. You want to live day per day and focus on the current moment. What is making you happy right now? What is coming up today and how can you enjoy it?

Here’s a few goals I suggest to you, to start with :

Go talk to people, be loud and clear, don’t be shy of girls. Look people in their eyes.

Take some time to sit down and think on this : Who are my real friends? That is, people that support you, don’t lie to you and will not try to rip you off (On money, friends, job,etc). Get rid of your “friends” that never contact, are not there when you need their help and especially the ones that are trying to make you do stupid things!

Accept people for who they are. Don’t try to change them.

4rd point, waste less time on your physical apparence and more on your attitude.

Here are two things that I noticied when I saw you on Big Brother :

1. Change your haircut, as soon as possible. No blonde, it looks horrible and it’s 100% fake.
2. Abosulutely no pink fur boots. I’m sorry but no straight man would even think of wearing something so ugly and gay. It brings way too much attention to you anyway, which you don’t want right now.

As for the your attitude: Stand up for yourself, don’t be shy, say what you think, defend your beliefs. Look at people in their eyes, when you talk, be loud and clear. Show that you believe in yourself, be proud of who you are. Show who you represent.

5th point, be genuine. Tell people the truth, don’t try to hide the truth, don’t change the facts, don’t tell different versions of your life to different people. People talk and they will figure it out at one point or another. Don’t lie to yourself. You’re Corey, 17 y.o, and what you are is what you’ve done until now. Not what you want to become later in your life. Don’t go tell people, oh I’m a party boy, when all you did was making a mess in your parent’s house. If you want people to respect and love you, you have no choise but to be genuine. Life is so much better when you don’t have to lie, don’t have to make sure that everyone is on the same page and don’t have to worry about it anymore.

It will be tough, but keep in mind what is your goal. To be recognized as a genuine man, be respected and live the life you desire!

Good luck =)

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This will be the last entry on the subject on this blog. Yoshi and I are now moving on to write Milf&Honey together.

Over the course of the next few weeks I will move the youth/teen/young adult entries there as well. This will resolve the problem where I have adult content here and wanted a place to put the non-x-rated things so each content found the right audience.

To which he replied “Thank you :)”. And to be honest with you that is the only appropriate answer to my compliment. I judge people by my own standards and I rarely explain these to others. Truly compatible people seem to know what I mean.

For instance the highest level that can be achieved in physical attractiveness is “Yummy”. But yummy-ness is not achieved by being cute alone. There has to be something else going on there. Take the cast of this season’s Beauty and The Geek. One may gravitate towards Tommy Severo (the sweater vest enthusiast) as the cutest but there was only one Yummy candidate this season: Jim Babcock (The video game programmer.) In fact both these guys are at the complete opposite of the second axis of yummi-ness. One is incredibly stuck-up when it comes to sex and the other one seems eager to get some (as it was obvious how Jim interacted with Tiffany at the Football game and beyond. ) So for me being halfway decent look-wise is completely useless if I can’t work with you.

I was disappointed that Jim got the boot before the makeover. Anyone who hides behind so much hair and tries to pass as a shaggy dog needs a makeover. He got his makeover last week and I was not that surprised by the results. I thought he would turn out looking more Gyllenhaal than Gosling. But it’s cool how he has no idea who Ryan Gosling is. That’s why I like geeks.

So back to the blow job worthiness thing.

Oral sex used to be my favorite thing (hence why I came up with the blow job worthiness index) but I have not had that many blow job worthy guys in my life for the past few years. In fact some guys think I am not into oral sex at all… Well maybe it’s because you’re just not that blow-job worthy! I am not saying I am that great at it by any means. A few months ago I lost a “suck-off” by a huge margin! The only reason I was not crushed by this loss is that it was to a trans guy who explained in detail how his technique was acquired so he would be accepted by gay men as one of their own. Well jaded oversexed gay men are definitely not my main “clientele”. My blow job non-technique is “put it in my mouth and enjoy”.

(UPDATE: Apparently I did not lose the “suck-off” in question LOL.)

I cannot tell you how many social conversations at semi-business events I have had with guys where after the fact I figured out that all they wanted from me was a blow job. All that staring at my boobs and making comments about my lips had nothing to do with Web 2.0. Life must be boring after you make it to C.T.O. or V.P. because those are the guys who are most often guilty of trying to get a quick fix with a total stranger. Not classy! Trying to pick me up is a bit useless because I definitely need time to confirm a connection and that can take me 4-6 months no matter how hot, rich or famous you think you are. The best way to get close to me is to figure out a way for us to spend time together by doing cool fun geeky things. That’s way more complicated than dating. This is how I approach people I dig as well.

Now the honor of being blow-job worthy can only be bestowed on someone who will go out of his way to do something for me without any expectation of getting something in return. since I have met him Mr. Sys Admin has done really cool unexpected things that often totally make my day. We met at a Midori “Bondage for Lovers” class and his first impression of me was seeing me tie up a 19-year old boy with ripped up bed sheets! Later he called me out of the blue to ask me to be his partner at a 2-day rope bondage class. Not only was that class fun but I got to tie him up in all sorts of cool ways! Did I mention he is yummy?! He is quite geeky as well which makes him a triple threat. Out of the blue last year he just kissed me. I was way too surprised to do anything about it. We’ve had long discussions (some live some chats) that delved into BDSM negotiations and it’s always remained quite intellectual and pleasant. Both of us have jobs and partners who seem to use up all the free time so I very rarely get to see him in person.

This weekend he helped me set up my Linux server the right way. I was supposed to go to his place but decided not to go pass along my cold to him.

So if I ever tell you you are blow job worthy you should just say thank you an be happy that I regard you as being in the small top tier of awesome keen guys on this planet. I am not really saying you deserve a blow job from me specifically as much as…