Sex is FREE!

Little did I know that when attending an evening of travel presentation at the local Yacht Club with Mr. P., I would meet Tas, a talented baker of perverted cakes. Tas, whose background is computer science and math, is even looking for ways to incorporate advanced features (animated parts) into his creations. Read the rest of this entry »

… to write, to tweet, to share. But I am a bit astonished at all the wonderful experiences I have been having lately

Boobie Magnets from Buttonhead

These cheeky magnets are a rather inexpensive way to stick some sexy humor on your fridge. They remind me of gag products from the 70’s. I remember those products very well as many of my mom’s friends had them lying around their house. When I was too young to partake in adult conversations, I has fun playing with them. Do you remember those boob cups? What a wonderful gift for your favorite manbaby. I remember my favorite magical toy, it was two statues. One was a standing man with an erection and the other was a kneeling woman. When you put them close by, the magnets would always bring them back together. I don’t know if I would file this in important lessons to learn when you are 6 years-old… but I am still quite interested in magnets today. These days, my local sex shop owner admits that even in a time of plentiful selection of high end vibes and dildos her biggest source of revenue are [silly and juvenile] sex gag gifts.

1918 Fitness Ephemera from SurrenderDorothy.

Old books are silly but they can also be adorable. I must admit I like the shoes in this picture however working out in them, I would not do!

Vintage French/Italian Magazines - Glamour 1983 from VintageBookNook

To get back to entertainment I enjoyed when I was in kindergarten… I remember our upstairs neighbor having a lot of soap opera magazines with pictures. They were in French and Italian. They contained really beautiful pictures and drawings.

How to Attain and Practice The Ideal Sex Life 1940’s from TheCottageCheese

Old sexuality books are a favorite of mine. There are a few that I have my eye on right now but I’ve had to curtail the collecting for I do not wish to sustain a large lifestyle. My first sexuality-related book was The Happy Hooker by Xaviera Hollander. Of course, being only 13 at the time, I was not allowed to buy it but I found an alternative way of getting my hands on a copy.

Man Junior Magazine from 1967 from theuppitywoman

Beautiful photography of nude women are a bit hard to find these days. In an era when natural just isn’t good enough anymore, most models and porn stars will have artificial bits and pieces, tattoos or too much makeup. Vintage men’s magazines can be a great source of artistic nude of natural models mostly un-retouched. This picture from a 1967 Man Junior Magazine is quite stunning. While these magazines may cost a pretty penny today, you can find the same kind of photography on Domai.com. All the models are beautifully natural, unburdened with contrived costumes or glitzy makeup. Highly recommended!

Sexy Naked Men Playing Cards from MyCupRunnethOver

Is there a sexy men version of that dogs playing poker painting anywhere out there? That would be the vision I get when I read Sexy Naked Men Playing Cards but alas, this is a cheeky desk of cards with nude men. Personally I prefer guys dressed up and possibly enjoying some kind of manly sport or activity! Those decks were fairly common in the 80s. I have a deck like this though it is somewhat hardcore. It is interracial porn from the 70s-80s and it comes from Amsterdam. I should find a new home for it because it has gone unused for the past 15 years. I have posed for such a deck.  When it comes out I will have a souvenir of me with all of my wild and sexy friends.

Yoga Nude by Miriam Schulman from mimistudio

Etsy has a nice community of self-represented artists. Miriam Schulman is one of them. Though she has a list of nudes offered, it would seem her cats and dogs pictures are very popular. I find this whole ‘fetishization’ of pets a bit strange.

Blues Baby Print from NudesAndShoes

Shoes however, are a more obvious fetish! Bring together shoes and nudes and you get a lot of sexy and interesting prints from NudesAndShoes.

Sexy Letters: S&M from madnessofstash

Hang it in bold blue letters on your wall. It’s more literary than having a collection of whips and floggers.

Cheeky Pinback Button from beanforest

Or you could make a subtle reference to your masochistic needle bottom side with this lovely button.

Headdress an original Polaroid by Aaron Driggers from TSURUFOTO

While this piece is absolutely random, it is also fascinating in a way. There is no obvious way of searching for random fabulousness on Etsy, it’s a matter of looking around and browsing. The beautiful Becca is also available on other prints from Driggers.

Framed Nude Clay Art from oatmealcookie

Oatmeal Cookie offers a lot of beautiful female form jewelry in her store. Both beautiful and tasteful for almost everyday wear.

Mature Peep Show Coffee Cup from khpillips

Another artist who has incorporated the erotic into his work is North Carolina quilter and potter Keith Phillips. He has made peep show cups ‘for man’ or ‘for woman’. I for one would be much more interested in buying this cup ‘for man’ than one of a dude holding his schlong. All of his pottery is exquisite and the gumball/candy dispensers are quite novel.

In my next article I will point you to sellers who offer useful tools for your sex toy box.

“Bonk” author Mary Roach delves into obscure scientific research, some of it centuries old, to make 10 surprising claims about sexual climax, ranging from the bizarre to the hilarious.

I know it’s sunday but I’m supposed to work until my eyes bleed because I spent most of the week sending out resumes and doing job research stuff instead of finishing that one contract I have.

But let’s take a break… for a journal entry.

Last weekend I updated my OKCupid profile to put some actual content in it. I also uploaded a few recent (albeit crappy) pictures of myself. There’s something that is getting on my nerves. I am getting a lot of messages and in a few cases some “Hey! Why didn’t you write back to me?”, “You have a fan!”, “Write to me!” messages. Those messages make me cringe! My profile is entertaining and different and I take for granted that 75% of guys who view my profile write to me simply because of that. They want me to entertain them… but if I was in that business, I would charge money.

Recently I asked a few guy friends about their answer rate on various dating sites and was surprised to find out that the reply rate for men writing to women is quite low, espescially on OKCupid! Heck I don’t feel guilty about not writing back to a guy who has a low match % and a high enemy % and who seems completely incompatible with me in interests or preferences.

I found this absolutely adorable catch in my Quiver last week and wondered about the 30% enemy count so I did a “WTF” report to find out why. I don’t know what the fuck a WTF report stands for but it is a comparison of answers to important questions from each party. Turns out our most incompatible points were actually not because they pertained to badly-written hypothetical questions referring to other people. But I did find one tidbit of info in there. He is interested in slim women. I already know that while I am not obese, I am not skinny or dainty and people who have a fetish for skinny/slim do not associate my body type with that. Now there’s an IMPORTANT incompatibility right there. I, on the other hand, like bulkier/chubby guys… but do NOT have a mental block against any particular body type. In fact, I kind of get annoyed with people’s hang-ups on body types or issues. So I did not write to him.

I wrote the following to one of the peeps who seemed to ‘complain’ about my lack of a quick answer to his instant messages.

Women are not being bitches and men are not being stalkers it’s a perception thing. Women get tons of attention and if we pick one out of 5 people to get to know it sucks up all the time that could be used to say no thank you to the 4 others. I try to answer most but I quickly fall behind. I got a message from a guy I REALLY like only 10 minutes after I put my profile back up so I will likely take it away again so as to stop getting messages. Good luck, Eva

I may talk about my date with ‘the (yummy) anchorman’ later on…

When I take the time to craft a ‘no thank you’ answer and give a reason, I usually just spark another e-mail or seven! So silence, while not ideal is the most effective method of saying no.

The reality is that if I begin to see someone I like, I will likely develop a strong relationship with him and because I am totally into ‘relating’ I cannot maintain that many casual friendships. I also don’t like long e-mail exchanges or chatting. I take such behavior as a plea for attention from a shy/lonely person who is not likely to initiate a meeting in person.

For the past 8 months, I have developed a fantastic relationship with Mr. P. and for the past 6 months, M0j0D4ddy. While neither is the one I plan to live with everyday for now, I want to maintain a permanent relationship with both of them (I take their unexpected spontaneous lifelong commitment to me very seriously!)

A friend asked: “So what’s with the trilogy of boyfriends? Is that a life rule or something?”

Err… not a rule… not even intentional really! I’m still seeing the Bearded DiCaprio (4.5 years now!), my General is retiring (not very available) and BelovedSchoolBoy(TPB) has moved on and got himself a fantastic new girlfriend with whom he is moving in pretty soon. Everyone is doing splendid. So to the one that is left from the previous trio, I added Mr. P. and M0j0D4ddy. Seems like my search for “The One” keeps netting me “Another One” but it’s fine if that relationship is okay with both parties.

I’m still looking for a primary partner. This is someone who will really want to live with me everyday. Plus I want a boyfriend so we can have sex all the time! I am looking for someone who is a parent like me because while my desire to have a mate is there, my priority is my child. I have managed to maintain a stable home and while It may seem like I have lots of boyfriends, she has only ever gotten to know one (Who lived with us) over the past 5 years.

M0j0D4ddy and I have this really well-crafted relationship. It sounds weird to say it like that but it never ceases to amaze me how well we work together considering the huge obstacles (meddling) we keep facing along the way. We talk 3-4 times a day. He wants us to ‘move forward’ so we made a plan for the next year which now includes him helping me stay focused on certain things I need to do for myself. I’m still doing a bunch of stuff for him ‘cuz it’s fun! I now have a virtual phone line in his city so he can call me ‘locally’ from the secure facility he works at. He is making headway towards what he wants to do on a daily basis which is teaching combative techniques and that means he would leave his current nerdy DoD job… for a macho DoD job LOL

Mr. P. and I are also hanging out more and more. He’s been taking good care of me as of late, taking me to the doctor and for tests (getting updates on 2004 internal injury from being crushed by two cars.) We will spend a day together this week as we both start the ’selling most everything in our houses’ effort. This seemed like a great idea four months ago but I am now cringing at selling my art and antiques! The topic of living together sometimes comes up but since he is not sure if Montreal is the place for him right now, I’m not counting on it. The step of downsizing each other’s possessions is the single most work-intensive step in that direction regardless.

The owner of the house where I live has gotten news from the Canadian government about her mother’s visa application and she has decided to cease leasing the house. This house was, after all, bought for the babushka in Kazakhstan. So I have to figure out what I am going to do after Dec 1. Seven months… that goes by really fast!

So I should get back to my pile of work.

Super kinky crafts… I dig that. The buttons turned out okay, though not as stellar as the first batch I ordered a few years ago. I only got a few with our names on it for the staff, yet they are the cutest ones LOL

I only use lightweight household cotton twine for bondage but once I started looking for lightweight rope, I found so many things that would work well. I made a little swatch book of the materials I found. I have cut, finished and packaged about 120 of those selections, including goodies such as charms and beads, for the workshop and of course, named them accordingly. I did this while supervising my daughter on the sewing machine and told her they were craft party favors for my friends. The double-entendre penis jokes on the labels are a bonus. I don’t think anybody has ever made cock bondage rope kits before.

P.S.: The FetLife one is a gift for attendees and there are only 25. Not for sale.

I haven’t written much lately because I have been doing write-ups for my event coming up in March. It is coming together very well. While this endeavor started as an excuse to spend time with M0j0D4DDY, whom I’ve been getting to know over the past three months, it is evolving into a swanky weekend affair which will leave us with little time to spend together!

I can’t do things half-assed, so I am going all out and using so many skills acquired from twenty years of work background in tourism, Web and project management to make Spring Fever a super fun, well put together, classy and naughty event. Last time M0J0D4DDy was here, in 2006 during the OutGames, he did not teach his BDSM workshops only his Modern Self-Defense for Women class and the ever popular Elegant Pain Compliance workshop. These are all workshops topics that have not been taught in Montreal yet so I am REALLY looking forward to them! And when I say looking forward I mean REALLY looking forward because I know the content and M0J0D4DDy is NOT a wallflower, it is going to be HARDCORE.

And I will be teaching Cock Bondage.  I heard someone say a few weeks ago “So and so told me you are the foremost expert in the world on Cock Bondage!” Well, thank you but a better description would be that I am the ONLY person in the world who has cared to do this craftily and document the process. My upcoming workshop is really a 90-minute long comedic presentation created to make people wince and giggle. Oh, it is going to be informative alright but it goes way further than that. It is the start of an EPIC event. It will make a wonderful intro to the next workshop, the Erotic Humiliation one. I haven’t even given my darn class yet and I am already booked twice more in Toronto!

Henceforth I will be known as the chick who ties up guys’ junk…

Hearing the comments of vanilla people as they exited The Dungeon at the Everything to do with Sex Show kind of made it worth my while. I was minding the FetLife booth for a few shifts on Saturday and the crowd was way more vanilla than I had expected.

I have become so un-phased by anything sexual, seemingly perverted or perhaps deviant that I forget what BDSM or Alt sexuality looks like to the uninitiated. It’s like vanilla people are not detached from other people’s behavior or sexuality and feel personally offended or involved somehow and must defend themselves by passing a comment or judgment. The biggest misconception about BDSM I encountered is that it is coercive or non consensual in nature. For some reason, people were afraid that they would be pulled into getting tied up or spanked as soon as they entered the Dungeon. I just told them to gawk away and ask questions if they wanted. In the D/s lifestyle, unless you are REALLY assertive or even agressive as a bottom, you will never get to play. If you are socially awkward as a Top you are likely to suffer the same fate LOL

I for one, like the asking for play, the negotiation process and the waiting (or looking forward to) and that is why I spend 95% time socializing and 5% time playing over an average year and for now that is fine with me. I was way overdressed (prude!) for the occasion but still mingled with a few hot Doms. I don’t expect anyone I meet out of the blue to ‘get’ what I am about or understand where I sit on the scale because I Mentor certain people and serve others. Really it’s a case-by-case thing.

The Mortician chatted with me and I asked him to string me up in the suspension bondage frame (I call him that because he was wearing a cute mortician shirt when I first met him 2 years ago.) The red ropes looked very good against my black outfit and I was suspended on my back. It was my second suspension, the first one I did in a Midori intensive Rope Dojo a few years ago and it pinched like Hell. This time it was very pleasant but for the sore neck and the migraine from Hell. I think it took me about 3-4 minutes to settle into it. I commented to my rigger that the position I was in would be perfect for a certain sexual act. Oh the things I will say when inconvenienced by dozens of onlookers…

I did have a great time with Erus (whom I had on loan from LadyC for some of the afternoon) and ran into a few key people. I took in a workshop on anal sex presented by a woman from Toronto who had the most awesome way of speaking French.

I spent all of Sunday in excruciating pain, which I already knew would happen. This week I will see about my pain level because it has gotten out of hand again with the fall a few months ago.

I had planned on being back in the gym by now, I’m really bummed out about my health again.

…and by teen porn I mean ‘Skins‘. Remind me never to be left in the UK un-chaperoned as 16 year olds over there would be a very bad influence on me. And I am so getting crooked bangs like Emily!

I recently found my twin on FetLife. If and when we get together, I want to be the good twin

I CANNOT wait to see what trouble Pandora will get herself into.

Oh, and the adults… don’t get me started on those teenagers!

When I saw Crash (Cronenberg) in 1997, I was repulsed. None of the characters made any sense to me and they had absolutely nothing endearing about them. I also don’t have a car fetish. I watch Top Gear for James May and the overall wit but I have always been afraid of cars, namely dying in a car crash. I have driven by myself only a few times. I’d love to learn how to drive for sports (rally) but driving for practical reasons leaves me cold. I am crap at it too.

I spent some time this weekend talking with Mr. P. about having un-natural experiences involving vehicles. He showed me the brace he wore for three months after being chewed up by a plane. Owies… I, on the other hand, was forcibly raped in the behind by a Mazda Protege (while pinned against my Chrysler Neon.) My freaky vehicular three way doesn’t beat flying into power lines… Mr. P is the only other person I’ve met who also has nerve damage and, having been bolted back together extensively, understands what that does. Oh and did I mention he’s a sadist!

I am officially a kinskter now and I am supposed to understand these things… I ALWAYS side with Ebert on everything but I didn’t in the case of Crash. But things make a bit more sense now. Crash was more interesting the second time around, in fact, I can say I had forgotten about most of the first part because the second part annoyed me so much! The characters are still somewhat cold and not that endearing. Yeah, super hottie James Spader manages to come off un-sexy most of the movie!

At least now, I can appreciate people who’s fetishes make little sense to me, just like, I am sure, some of my inclinations make no sense to others.

Everything meets somewhere…

For instance, the day before, I had written part of a story that has one character initiating sex while the other one is crying. Most readers would exclaim “No, that is the worst time to be initiating sex!” This was how I felt the first time I watched the very last scene of Crash!

To check another movie off my ‘to watch list’, I started watching Caligula a month ago. I gave up… Should I even bother to watch the whole thing? John Hurt plays Caligula in I, Claudius… I think that will be much better to watch (when I get to it.)